What do I do?

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chessasfo Asked September 2014

What do I do?

Mild Dementia, Delirium, UTI, Low BP & destructive. Last week a Neurologist diagnosed mum with mild dementia but currently suffering delirium. She is getting recurrent UTIs and is just about to finish the latest batch of antibiotics. Took her to doc on Tues because she was so tired and just not her *normal* self. Her blood pressure was extremely low so we went to ER. Where BP went up, but only when laying down, sitting and standing it remained low. They did CT & blood work all was A OK. This morning I found she'd some how gotten ahold of the tylenol, she said she'd taken 5 and 1 was left in bottle. There were alot more in the bottle last night, so I of course freaked out thinking she'd taken 50 not 5. BUT THANK GOODNESS turned out she had taken only 5. While trying to come to terms with having to re-secure meds, I find that she had been moving around my *stuff* in the bathroom and had tossed out some of my makeup and makeup remover tissues. This is the 2nd time I have found items in trash basket. Once found her distroying an item just purchased, she doesn't know she's done any of this. Is this part of dementia?
I am literally at a loss. She is continually moaning and groaning, always in pain, though according to the doc there is no basis for the pain, he says its muscle related. She isnt eating again, and its like pulling teeth to get her to drink fluids and take her meds.... other than pain related ones..... does this sound like *mild* dementia? I don't know what to do, am I helping or hurting by caring for her at her home? The latter is going to change as I live in CA and she is in MO. I was planning to bring her back to CA with me.

Alzheimer's & Dementia

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score 2 · Answer 1

You may need to find placement near where she currently lives and hire a geriatric care manager to keep tabs on her and report to you. This sort of system worked well for my cousins who live in the midwest; their parents decamped for Daytona the minute they retired. In retrospect, my cousins suspect that their mom knew on some level about my uncle's dementia and didn't want anyone to know. She cared for him at home for many years, long past when she should have. One of my cousins was in Florida on a business trip and "popped in" unexpectedly. He found his mother covered in bruises; my constitutionally docile uncle was beating her up trying to get the keys to get out of their condo, he was a real wanderer. They hired a geriatric care manager to find an appropriate memory care center for my uncle,who thrived there. Sadly, my aunt passed away not long after he was placed, almost certainly due to the stress and sheer physical exhaustion of the years of caregiving she had done. He lived happily for another few years. Lesson: put on your own oxygen mask first!

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score 0 · Answer 2

I agree Eyerishlass, about the stages etc, I think I am using them as a good guideline/reference, everyone is different. I have been *trying* a waiting game lets see what happens once this or that is finished... what will remainof the delirium, and how much it affected the dementia. Having said that, its been nearly 7 weeks that I have been here with her, and Ive exhausted myself before the really hard--ER work has even begun.
Pam you said what I had already been thinking, that flying, or any form of major change probably wouldn't be for the best. But how do I get her back home?
New2demenia.. that is another issue for us the dang expense.

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score 0 · Answer 3

I'm sorry, Chess. I was referring to my mom.

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score 1 · Answer 4

*Now all of my mother's Dr's are on the same page. She has been diagnosed with Dementia. She still bathes and dresses herself and cooks. However, I've watched the Dementia progress and watch her decline. There will be a day when my mom needs more supervision that she's willing to accept now. She's had several episodes and they are more frequent.
This is a horrible disease.

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score 2 · Answer 5

My mother has put on a show and tries to fool her Dr's and neurologist. This worked at first but we had to stay on the Dr's and constantly updated them via letters on what was taking place at home. No they are all on the same page she has Dementia and I've seen it progress. She can fool some people but spend a little time with her had most should see she's not the same person.
I moved into my mom's home to become her caregiver. BIG mistake. If you decide to move you mom into your home make sure you have caregivers in your home and respite care for yourself.
Assistive Living facilites would be a wonderful option, but they are EXPENSIVE. I wish my mother had not made so many finical mistakes late in life so that she can afford one. But that's a mute point with my head strong mother because she refuses a caregiver and is hell bent on staying in her own home.

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score 4 · Answer 6

It sounds like your mom had orthostatic hypotension. That's when the blood pressure drops when someone goes from a sitting to a standing position. It's common in many people, not just the elderly.

The neurologist might have said "mild" because your mom was sitting there, pretty as a picture, answering his questions correctly. She was putting on a show. But it doesn't sound like "mild" dementia.

And while there are phases of dementia don't get too hung up on them, they're more of a diagnostic tool than for personal reference. There are places on the internet that will specify phases of dementia and your mom may fit into one of the phases or 3 of the phases. It's not black and white.

And I agree with Pam, your mom should not be on an airplane and driving her across country should be a last resort as well.

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score 1 · Answer 7

Maggie, when you say *mom* you are referring to my mom, right? Thanks for the link. As I read the stages, alot of the later ones apply. BUT so do the early ones, in that she can still dress herself, go to the bathroom (I always am close by in case she gets that dizzy paralyzing feeling)...

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score 3 · Answer 8

Not mild dementia, but later in the stages. Do not attempt to put her on an airplane, and driving isn't good either. Talk to her MD about placement for her, whether he thinks she can handle Assisted Living.
Her appetite may be off because of the antibiotics. You will have to wait and see. She can not be left alone anymore.

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score 4 · Answer 9

Here's a link that lists the different stages of dementia:

http://www.aplaceformom.com/dementia-care/dementia-stages

As you read how dementia progresses from mildest to very severe, the behaviors you can expect and the care needed, ask yourself if you're willing and able to participate in the journey with her in your home.

Mom would fall under "Very Severe Cognitive Decline" and sinking fast. It has become darned near impossible to care for her at home.

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What do I do?

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