Mom has recently decided to sell her home and move into senior retirement apartment building. Her reasons have finally dominoed onto her because for the last 5 years she's been against this idea even though I and my siblings have been telling her she needed to do it before she encountered the domino repair issue. Well, her pride and stubborness has now been crushed by multiple repairs in less than 6 months and more are mounting. She simply cannot afford them. Also the bigger emotional/mental reason is the fact that she is lonely. Needs same generation companionship because she's lost a lot of her neighbor friends and classmate friends over the last 25 years. Dad passed 16 years ago. This last year has been brutal for her emotionally at the rate of speed she's lost many friends. 4 within days of each other. She has a few senior center volunteers who call her, one comes over when she can-at least once a month. Another that use to come nearly daily has moved out of state because her hubby's job transferred him. She sends pretty cards with great messages, though. All that is taking an emotional toll on her, too.
What have been your experiences with selling your parents home "AS IS"? She doesn't have a morgage, owns the house outright, and has for many decades. Someone mentioned to me about a 'reverse mortgage' but I don't think mom would go for that? I don't fully understand that concept, either and would like to know of anyones experience with that.
As for the relocation process: There's a beautiful place locally but it's monthly rent is at least $3000. This complex serves not only as a retirement apartment community but also a nursing home and assisted living centers all on the same grounds/complex/compound, whatever you want to refer to it as. Hence, the hefty expense, I am guessing. Mom said that even after the sale of the house that would be gone in less than a year. She doesn't want to go there because she wouldn't be able to continue paying such a monthly fee. What senior/elderly programs, aid is available to apply to for senior retirement apartment rental assistance? I don't know if this specific location is under the HUD senior program but from what I understand from mom talking about it that it is likely not a HUD property. Still, being that she's on her last decade of life, I would think that such seniors would have quite a listing of rent assistance programs to choose even for such an expensive place. Am I wrong?
Other locations are based on income(HUD), which she felt may better suit her, however she's very picky about the outward and inward appearance of the place she will select. Which will limit her choices greatly.
Her yearly Social Security income doesn't go above the poverished level for a single person. What senior programs are best to apply for to help her with this transition and the ability to be able to have her rent fee subsidized including at that expensive complex that may not be HUD applicable? How long the waiting period may be? Can you move into these retirement complexes and still temporarily have ownership/be going through a house sale that hasn't been sold yet? Or, should the sale of home(and estate belongings) be finalized before her move into the senior home to avoid the home and property being considered asset income? I don't quite know exactly what all her assets would total on top of her social security income. Though she has told me they are not much. What should she liquidate first?What should she not 'liquidate' at all? She doesn't drive so there is no car to worry about.
What have been your experiences when your parents made the transition from a large home in a neighborhood to a 1 bedroom apartment at a senior retirement complex?
My siblings and I have been grateful that our mom still has her wits and mind about her at her age and doesn't need round the clock care. She's slowed down a great deal but can still find strength to cook small meals, clean a little bit, make herself look super presentable, and do her own laundry. However, that said, she has recently stated that she wished someone would cook for her more often now cause her slaving in the kitchen is getting more daunting a task for her. I also think she may benefit more from having laundry on the same floor. She has a heart condition and finds it difficult to navicate stairs going up. as well as holding a full laundry basket worth of clean clothes. The ideal apartment unit would have laundry hookup in the apartment. Or perhaps apartments on the first floor so she can take that short walk to and fro.
Thank you in advance for your input, comments, advice, and stories of your experiences.
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That is why we need to drill into the minds of the younger generation to save for those rainy days... too many rather spend their income on what is happening today.
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It's a shame, but a lot of these facilities are to the point that only wealthy seniors can afford.
In this complex you don't rent or buy an apartment, you put a huge down payment depending on the size apartment you want... starting around $190k for the smallest unit, up to $700k for the largest unit. Once you move out, you or your heirs will get back 90% of what you put down. Every month there is a fee around $1800-$2500 which includes one meal in one of their two formal dining room rooms, utilities, cable, trash collection, property tax, 24-hour security and emergency first responder team. On campus is a bank, library, medical center, in-door pool, putting green, gym, computer lab, woodworking shop, pharmacy, hair salon, barbershop, gift shop, etc.
The above retirement community recently put in a *continuing memory care* facility. It's within 10 minutes of a regional hospital, and 15 minutes of an international airport.
There are no good solutions. All indep living in my area are at least $3500, not including all the extras (did you know they charge for medications help?).
Other hidden expense is like communal laundry--you won't have your own W/D in your unit (some newer places have them). Maintenace help to replace light bulb you can't reach--$45 min charge. Stuff.like this reeeally add up,
fast.
My parents were also very frugal, I think my Dad still has the first dollar he ever made and the first GE stock he bought back in the 1940's. And they taught me well, too. I had my very first saving account when I was 5 years old :)
Now I worry about the younger generation, are THEY saving like we did? Probably not.
After living in Central Illinois for a few years, I moved them to be near me about 13 years ago. Fast forward to today and my dad is gone 5 years and my mom still lives in an independent living facility in a suburb of Chicago (with a LOT of help from me). In the last three months of his life, we moved my dad into the skilled nursing section of the same facility, which was great for all of us.
My mom pays $3,600 a month and doesn't get meals, as she no longer wanted to walk the distance to the dining room and didn't want to get dressed every day. She's still very happy with moving from their home to a retirement facility. She can be as social or reclusive as she wants to be. At 94, she's more into staying by herself than going out to meet new people. She's one of their longest-term residents, so virtually everyone she knew has either died or left because they ran out of money. Thankfully my parents, who started with nothing, were very wise and frugal and she has more than enough to stay there for the rest of her days.
I've recently added having girls come in 2X a day to give mom medicines and I could add more services (dressing, food preparation) as needed. So I'd say in our case, it's been only a blessing to get them out of their house and into a place with the kind of care they need for different stages of their lives.
It seems to me that she needs to liquidate her stuff, sell the house and quickly evaluate what she can afford. Talk to the administrator, to get the right information.
Yes, sell the house totally *as is* which means if the buyer has a professional inspection on the house, and depending on your State, your Mom may not need to make repairs, or limited repairs. Investors love these properties, they buy the house below market because it is "as is", they do the fixing and updating, and flip the house for a higher price. Find a Realtor who works with investors, or on a Sunday go to some of the Open Houses in your community and chat with the Realtor, get a feel if they have experience with investors who buy homes.
I would vote *no* to the Reverse Mortgage, as the house will still continue to need fixing year after year.
As for finances, you should meet with the facility director and they will review your entrance financials. They can advise you on moms financial assistance, including VA spousal benefits, etc. they'll consider sale of the home, savings, etc and help you understand. DEPENDING on the facility, they likely wouldn't kick her out (make sure that is the case in writing) and they will go thru all her money...let's say that last 22 months for example, then Medicare will pay the monthly fee thereafter to keep her in place. Make sure facility accepts Medicare. That's how a facility I looked at explained it to me. What they are hoping is that the money will keep coming for 3 yrs avg/resident before Medicare kicks in.
You are right, there are other facilities that work on HUDr sliding scale for less fortunate seniors. In my moms town, the facility wasn't as nice in the public areas and seemed more institutional.
Be prepared for a long transition. There will be a lot of memories in her home to let go of. It will take quite some time to whittle through all of her belongings. I would sell her home "as is" You could even look into a home warranty that would cover all the mechanicals in the house, should there be a problem in the first year. She can move now with the selling process to follow after. Call some places for a tour. You could go by yourself at first, to weed out the lesser options. Then take mom to the one's that would suit her. Don't make the process daunting. I know it sounds like a lot, but you can do this.