If Mom becomes a hermit at her IL facility, will the staff want to move her?

I have real bad coughing spells from COPD ,sometimes I am afraid to be alone it makes me fell like iam going to cough out and fall or just die it hurts so bad I am going to move in with my daughter and her husband but still they will be at work all day iam only 57 dr saids ther isn't surgery for it and I have all the medication they have for treatment all comments would be welcomed I just affraid

Mom never walks outside at the community (which bothers me) because she can go from her apartment to the cafeteria dining room all indoors. And if residents don't check in (I think in person?) each day by 11 am, someone checks on them. But of course, there's still plenty of time to get hurt there. I think my biggest worry is that if she shuts herself off from interactions she will go downhill faster. She's 68 with impaired vision (blind spots) and balance issues she denies (though she does use the cane I bought against her wishes).

My husband's sister (aged 68), who had had several neurosurgeries, had very poor short-term memory--but not a classic dementia. She lived in her longtime home because she could not deal with any other location; she kept trying to walk home. She had a part-time caregiver, who left her supper on a Saturday evening, and Sunday her daughter found her on the floor, having choked to death. As bad as that was, it was merciful because she had been noticeably failing and none of us could imagine her future.

In my mom's IL, all the residents had wrist bands with a button that activated a central alarm. The one time mom fell, it was outside and she didn't think to push the button (that's what dementia does, I get that now). Fortunately, one of the handymen saw her sprawled in the bushes.

Maybe whoever approaches mom about an alarm can play the guilt card: "Mom, you can't imagine how we worry about you from one day to the next. Just knowing you had that extra layer of protection would mean the world to all of us."

Then offer to pay for it. ;)

Man in hoarder house trapped under debris. Not found for days. (Heard this from the village employee who broke into the house to find him. He'd died.) Woman fell in her home one afternoon and laid there until the next afternoon when her son couldn't reach her by phone and drove over to her home. (Heard this from Tom, my S.O. It was the mom of one of his clients. She'd broken her hip.) Woman passed out in her bathroom, assumed from her diabetes. Found dead 8 hours later when another member of the household...stone deaf...couldn't get in the bathroom to use it and called another family member. (Shirt-tail family)

They most certainly save lives. Oh, and when mom (who lives with me) fell and broke her hip? Her alarm went off without her activating it. (I was 10 feet away in another room.)

It's one of those things you don't need until you do.

Good rule, ba8alou! From a resident. I hear you!

Cm, are you hearing this from other residents? Or from staff? Rule one, always assume that people in Independent Living have dementia and are unreliable reporters. Talk to staff.

Thank you Maggie. The apartment has two pull cords. We suggested a life alert monitor when she moved in 5 months ago and it created world war 3. So I hesitate to raise the issue again. Maybe someone else in the family can bring it up. Or if the choice becomes move to the AL area or get a life alert, then maybe she'll get one. Thanks for the suggestion!

Independent Living doesn't require anyone to socialize. It's a wonderful opportunity for them and most take advantage of it, I'd think. But I doubt seriously it's a requirement. If it were my mom, I'd be certain she had some kind of Life Alert system that would monitor and alarm if she fell. They make them in pendant and watch styles.