My Mom (95) is in a locked memory care unit. Out of l7 people she is l of 2 who can carry on a conversation. Are there other options?

Sunnygirl1, (I wish we could pop over to look at a profile in the middle of a post!) I see that your mother is in an assisted living facility. That would not be sufficient for my mother. But what my mother needs is the care level of a skilled nursing home, not a memory care unit.

Sunnygirl1, I am not saying there is no legitimate reason for placing people in memory care units. My point is that not everyone who has dementia needs the secure memory care units. I don't know whether queenanabelle's loved one does or not.

My 94 yo mother is doing fine on the first floor of her nursing home, and has no need to move to the second floor "dementia" unit. I was talking to a woman last night who recalled how much better her father did when moved from memory care to regular assisted living. It is a case-by-case decision.

My understanding is that the staff in Memory Care facilities are trained to deal with dementia patients. Their focus is on memory and the issues that arise because a person can't remember anyone's name or can't recall how to flush the toilet anymore. They recognize that dementia patients may often ask why they are there and demand to leave. Other types of places aren't trained or prepared to handle those kinds of problems. The staff aren't geared for it and their patience is not focused on repeating things to someone with dementia.

Memory care staff anticipate that a resident may not remember to come to the dining hall and may forget to use a fork and take measures to see that doesn't happen. They know how to gently support the resident. Plus, there is security. Even residents who say they love the place and don't want to leave can suddenly change their mind and decide to go for a stroll around the grounds without supervision.

I recognize your concern about a memory care facility. I was a little startled when I went for a visit to one, but now that I have a loved one in a NON memory care facility.....I see that she needs memory care. This is just from my experience.

Why is she in a locked unit? Is she at risk of wandering? I know that wandering is a common risk in AD but not so much in other kinds of dementia.

Memory Units are definitely not the best choice for every kind of dementia.

Do you think that your mother might be better off in a skilled nursing facility? There will be MANY people with dementia there, but also others without that disease. She may find interacting with others a little less confusing there. And they are staffed (as an ALF might not be) to deal with residents who forget their walkers or to lock their wheelchairs.

My husband, who had Lewy Body Dementia, was able to remain at home. If I had to place him in a care center it would not have been a memory unit. My mother has dementia (not AD) and she is content in a nursing home.

Is your mother's behavior disturbing to other residents? Does she wander in and out of other people's rooms? Is she a wandering risk? Why is she in a memory unit?

Queenanabelle, I'm afraid you may be fooling yourself. There are many types of dementia, AD being the most common. You should ask the doctor for the specific type that she has as that will give you a better idea of what is in her future. Saying someone has dementia is like saying they have a garden....just what is growing there....cantaloupes or roses or corn or wildflowers or what? They all need different care to be as vital ss possible.

queenanabelle, that would be nice to have separate quarters depending on the stages of memory loss as it probably is quite unpleasant for your mother right now. One down side would be is if she made a best friend and after awhile that friend had to leave to live in another section of the building. That would be a painful loss for her until the time comes when she herself is ready for the next step.

They all think they are just fine, that it's the other people who have deficits. Very common. Encourage her to accept where she is, it is the safest possible place for her. It's not going to get better for her. So sorry that is a really hard thing to accept.