What can I do when my family doesn't want our Mom to live with me and she is in a care home?

And what if your mom outlives you? There are no guarantees in life. I would rather know that she has 3 meals a day, is clean and there is a nurse on duty. How would you work 24/7 to take care of her?

Sometimes, what we want isn't possible. Try to be as realistic as you can about what Mom's current needs are. You are probably suprised at all of us answering this way - sure, home care may be ideal in many situations, but most of us on here are on here because home care simply did not work out well for either caregiver, caregivee, or both. See if you can do some little out-trips to nearby restaurants or shops. maybe with one of the other siblings and see how that goes. Mom may be fine just to do things like that and converse on a light level but probably has more problems than are apparent on the surface.

You want your mum to live with you. Sorry, you can't have that. Settle for what you can have, which is frequent contact with her in the care center. Doing the best you can with what is available to you makes more sense than wasting energy fighting a losing battle.

00banks1964, chances are your Mum is in a care home because of memory issues or physical ailments. It's noble of you wanting your Mum with you at your home, but it sounds like your family understands how demanding and exhausting the work.

Think about it, at the care home there are probably workers on duty 24/7, each working an 8 hour shift, they go home to their own family, and return the next day fresh for a full day's work.... and they have 2 days off during the week. Ask yourself, would you be able to do the work of all 3 shifts? With no time off?

but i want her to live with me

She is in a care home with doctor's orders, she didn't just walk in there. You can still care for her there and go home to sleep at night. It's the safest place for her to be.