Feeding tube. What should I do?

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KAZINA Asked October 2014

Feeding tube. What should I do?

Ok , Story first, Husband been in rest-home for 2 year working on 3, For stroke, Friday He got bad, They gave us choice. He is not responding well. We had to made tough dissensions on what he would want because he unable to respond to our question.
I will try explain it must as I can. We had two options.
1. Comfort- focused treatment - Relieve pain and suffering with medication by any route as needed; use oxygen, suctioning, and manual treatment
of airway obstruction. Do not use treatments listed in Full and Selective Treatment unless consistent with comfort
goal.
2. Hospital - See what they can do for him.
We decided to wait over night . Check the results.
They come us with Two other Options
1. Feeding tub- He gets feeding tub and be in bed 15 hours a day Witch i feel he would not like cause he love go out side and be in his chair .
2. No feeding tub.
I have each and every family member what they think we should do.
We have decided to Comfort-focused Treatment. and no feeding tub.

Ok now im not sure what to do . He has gotten better. He is alert and talking. He told me im not dead (damit). And said im not dieing .

They asking would you like to put feeding tub in his tummy. Or keep doing comfort treatment. What should I do or get your opinions. Please Need A little advice.

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score 1 · Answer 1

My father was on a gastric feeding tube for 9 years, crippled and blind with age related dementia, but loved music, singing dancing in his chair, got to meet Elizabeth Dole, cousins picked him up. The tube only came out twice. He passed at 87. I can't thank Durham VA more and his caregiver for all the love and support they gave him. He was not dying, nine years before they tried to withhold fluids and if it were not for the Medical Power Of Attorney we had set in place 6 years prior to pneumonia he would have been robbed of 9 years. Also he had breathing treatment for 9 years. My dad wanted to live, If your loved one wants to live, let him!!!! No one wants to take their final last breath if they are not in horrible pain.

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score 0 · Answer 2

Kazina, I'm sorry for your loss. God bless for you for caring for him. It's devastating, but he is at peace now. Please take care of your self.

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score 0 · Answer 3

Blessings for your future you have been very strong and made all the right decisions. Do not have any regrets. There was nothing more you could have done.

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score 0 · Answer 4

Bless you Kazina.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Prayers for your healing!! You have been through a tough, tough time...

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score 1 · Answer 6

((((((hugs)))) my sympathies on your loss. You have had some very difficult years and made the right decision,. I agree with Pam, you will heal. It will take some time, but you will heal. Blessings on your future.

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score 1 · Answer 7

Please accept my condolences. Things will get better, you will heal.

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score 7 · Answer 8

sorry did not get back with you all. He pass away 3-days latter. To answer some question my husband had many strokes. So speech , movement , mind not there. Sometime he can remember us sometimes not . I took care him for 7 years got him walking talking and back on track enough to take care of him at home. But he had 2 more strokes. and was to point unable take care of him. We be-leave he has another stroke. cause he was unable to eat and all he was doing is yelling. After finaling talking to the doctor his heart was slowing down he be-leave he qill die in day. so we gone head not do tub. Doctor said he may not make it threw the surgery to have it done. I been at my husband side all these years for his illness. to point i was breaking down was thinking of devoce give my self peace . witch some of you not realized I try to kill my self when my husband was sick watching my husband getting worse every day was very heard. Im doing ok and my husband is at peace now, No more pain and suffering. And hopefully i will heal from this. I have gone this site many time and help me with lot i pay not post but most my answer was done by reading. thank you all for helping.

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score 2 · Answer 9

I think feeding tubes are AWESOME for temporary use. My brother used one while he was recovering from throat cancer. He is eating just fine on his own now. There certainly is an appropriate time for their use.

I researched feeding tubes when one was recommended for my husband. I didn't find ANY empirical evidence that they improved the quality or length of life for elderly dementia patients.

Now that he is perked up some, can your husband give his opinion about this? Does he want a feeding tube?

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score 2 · Answer 10

If he's not eating, it's not time for a feeding tube. It's time for hospice.

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score 1 · Answer 11

And if he's hungry, I'd for sure want to feed him - but if eating by mouth is really hard or makes him ill with bad lungs (even if not coughing or choking - "silent" aspiration happens up to 40% of cases) the G-tube is again not a bad idea per se. NG tubes aren't good for chronic use - maybe a few weeks or a month, but not so hot beyond that. I have ONE patient who is opting for that approach - just really totally anti-surgery- but everybody else seems better without the tube in the nose and tape on their face all the time.

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score 0 · Answer 12

Ummm...why would he have to be in bed 15 hours a day just because of a tube? Especially with a G-tube, people can do pretty much anything they could do before - swim, bathe lay on the stomach, be as active as they like. But, if someone's swallowing is primariy due to end-stage dementia, Pam is absolutely right, it does not add quality nor usually even quantity of life. With stroke that affects swallowing, it is a different story though. If he is enjoying life, a "PEG" tube (usually done with a "button" that lies more flush with the abdomen) surgically placed could be the best option and certainly isn't wrong.

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score 5 · Answer 13

No feeding tube, it creates more problems than it solves. Treat depression and pain, nothing else. Many patients say they are not dying, even when they are. The vibrant man you fell in love with would not want to be artificially kept alive with tubes and machines. What were his wishes back then? Respect the decisions he made when he had all his faculties.

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score 3 · Answer 14

It must be hard seeing him apparently getting better after the family has already decided no tube. Is he able to express a meaningful opinion? Have you asked the family if they feel the same seeing that he is talking now?

For myself, I would want to know what his doctor saw for him in the future. I have read that overall a feeding tube does not improve quality or length of life and can bring its own problems. There is a nasal feeding tube which is temporary and does not require surgery, but I don't know if that is advisable.

Prayers for it to be clear to you what the right decision is. (((((((hugs)))))

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score 2 · Answer 15

Kazina; in your other posts, you say that his mind is gone and that he's angry all the time. You even talked about divorcing him. Isn't this the kindest way to let him go? Give him comfort and love.

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score 0 · Answer 16

If he has dementia, I would go with no feeding tube, let him be comfortable.

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score 0 · Answer 17

What is the reason he was in the rest home?

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Feeding tube. What should I do?

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