abc1234567890 Asked October 2014

Finding respite care. Any advice?

My mother lives with me. She has mild memory loss. She wakes up disoriented and gets confused about meals. I would like to go away for a few days, but I need someone to be with her in the morning when she gets up and to feed her. Other than that, she is currently fine on her own.

We don't live near anyone that could help out. We don't belong to a church or other groups that might have people we could ask.

I'm not quite sure what to do. I started looking into respite care centers. So far, they all seem to require a minimum two-week stay. That would be too expensive for us and too long. Mom gets disoriented when she stays away from home, too, so two weeks away would be really confusing for her, I think.

I was thinking of finding someone who could possibly just come and stay a couple days. Does anyone have advice on how to find someone reliable?

I would have the person meet mom and see what she thinks, too. It would obviously have to be someone who she is sympatico with or she wouldn't agree to it. In fact, I know she won't like it - regardless what it's called, she's going to call it "baby sitting" and insist that she's not a baby. But, that's a different hurdle and I'll just have to sit down with her and discuss it.

I was also wondering if anyone knows of programs for respite care that are reduced-cost. I keep meaning to call the VA to ask but it's on my "to do" list (that continues to get longer faster than I get to it :-) ).

Home Care

30 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

I'd start with an in-home care agency. Most will work by the hour so you may want to continue with a little help even after your break. All of the suggestions here have merit. Please let us know how you are getting along.
Carol

Helpful Answer (0)

Many Assisted Living places, Aegis, etc. take respite for a week or a weekend.
Regardless of what she calls it. We in the caregiving world need to realize that we will get "burned out" if once in a blue moon our needs do not get met.

She will not understand, so my advice is to just tell her the morning of. If she truly has and I believe you dementia. The reason I say that, is because she will and I am not saying this with any meanness, just the reality of the word, get mean, nasty, make you feel guilty. Go have fun, and remember, the loving person you can be on the time you are back home with her. I am sorry, alzheimer's and dementia do not understand the needs of others, they end up as some say very self centered. Just remember, it is the disease.

all the best.
d

Helpful Answer (1)

I too would look into hiring either a Home Care agency to provide short term, respite help or find senior housing that provides this. Residential Care Homes also might be open to this if they have a vacancy. You can also call a professional Geriatric Care Manager to get some leads.
You might also realize that getting a little help now is a gateway to lining up more assistance / respite in the future to continue taking care of yourself.

Helpful Answer (1)

Also check with your local hospice. Depending on their services, they may be able to help with respite care from time to time. Our local hospice has been able to take my loved one for a 3-4 days 24/7 to give me a much needed break / vacation. I could rest knowing they were in good hands. Worth checking out.

Helpful Answer (1)

I live in Alabama and get free vouchers for $1200 hours of respite care through the Department of Aging. Not based on income! It is based on need. Contact your local Department of aging. You should be able to google it. Good luck

Helpful Answer (1)

If there is a NH or AL nearby, I'd see if any of their staff would want to "work their weekend off" to take care of your mom. They are used to dealing with whatever mom can throw at them too. Plus if in the future, mom needs to move to a facility and it's where the caregiver works, the transition could all be smoother.

Helpful Answer (1)

Here in Downeast Maine, we provide short term respite care and short term assisted living vacations for guests who need a bit of help.

Helpful Answer (1)

If you have access to the VA definitely give them a call They have a couple of different programs that may be useful to you. I got help by calling his primary and requesting a social worker. She can explain the programs for you. Hope this works out for you. God Bless

Helpful Answer (1)

I meant $1200 a year. They take $14 hour out for every hour the respite caregiver helps me out with my Mom. They also have the approved list of screened caregivers.

Helpful Answer (0)

I was recently informed that our local Senior Center offered respite care for home care providers who need some time off. I don't know the details, but I would certainly check it out as I believe that it was of costs to the family. In NC, most counties have a Senior Center. It's supported by various state and local governments. You may have them in your area too.

Helpful Answer (0)

See All Answers

Finding respite care. Any advice?

30 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions

Ask a Question