Husband 2nd stroke and diabetic brought home after he learned to walk and be independent. This includes exersice of any kind, eats constantly, "horrible" momentary mem. loss then gets mad at me and yells. MUST have his meals on time or else. I have tried everything I know how & it's taken a serious toll on miy health which he won't believe. I am recoveing nicely from broken leg 1-3-14 but I get so tired & he hates it if I sit down and fall asleep. I have to stay as far away from him as possible or listen to his LOUD ballgames all day, yelling about something - in short treating me like a slave. We are in a small town certified help is impossible to find (ins. requires it). He was much happier in the nursing home but I understand (in MN) a patient has to be hospitilized for 3 days for ??? or he doesn't qualify for NH. I don't dare just leave him by himself and no there is no family that is either willing & in other cases able to help. I feel so defeated and alone. I told him I feel alone and his remark was "You are all alone". Wouldn't that make yiou feel good???! Have a good day. Thanks
7 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
IN your case, your husband is still in a situation where he feels depressed and down about the things that recently happened to him. His negative emotions are all brought by the sudden changes that he is facing in life right now. Has he always been rude to you? Does he always treat you wrongly even when he was still healthy and strong? If not, then this change in him is brought by the sudden changes that he had to face. If he is the sole or the main provider of the family, his being not capable of doing his responsibilities now is a license to feel bad and unworthy. How long has it been seen he got sick? If it is still in the one to three month period, you can conclude that this is just the adjustment stage. Things can get worst or can get better in the future. Sticking with him even with all that negative energy coming from his is a good choice. Imagine you being in his shoes and he being in yours. Would you want him to leave you alone or stand up for you and be strong during the time of your weakness and defeat. Again, this is just a stage. The challenge in this is that his improvements in your hands. Giving up on him now will not improve anything. So just hang on. Ask for medical consultation, talk to a friend or a professional about your hang-ups and dilemmas during this stage or be involved in a support group. This will definitely help you in deciding on what to do next and on emotionally preparing yourself for the challenges that are about to come.
Again, this is just a phase and your patience will be put into test. But again, he is your husband, the love of your life, so you might as well be strong for him while you fight this battle together.
ADVERTISEMENT
Hope you can find a happy outcome to this situation.