My mother has been living with me over a year now, and one of the hardest things I have had to adjust to (besides all the care issues!) Is her questioning why. As in, "Why is the big pot out on the stove?" (It's clean & I didn't feel like putting it away right now). "Your purse is on the island, are you going out?" (No, I just got back & was busy putting the groceries away and didn't take time to put it where it belongs). "Whose coat is this and why is it on the chair" (See above). In a way that taps into old patterns and feelings when I was growing up in her house, but now it is my house & I want to just BE. I'm a 64 year old adult and I don't want to have to explain why I am doing what I do all the time! I'm not a slob, but if I don't feel like doing something right away, I shouldn't have to answer to my mother. When she moved in I could escape scrutiny by heading upstairs. My OA is such now that I avoid the stairs unless necessary, so we come in contact more. I realize she can feel left out & wants to know what is going on. Especially with her short term memory loss, she forgets what just happened or what we have planned, and her questions give her guidance. I know this is petty in the world of caregiving, but it is my whine of the day. Thanks for listening, and any suggestions on coping will be appreciated.
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
I find it comical any time I get a cold... right away Mom want to send Dad over to my house with aspirin or cough syrup.... like in the past 45 years I never ever had these things on hand in my own house when I had a cold??? I appreciate the offer but I wish I could say to Mom that I know what I am doing :)