Has anyone had an "outside" family move into the home for 24/7 care?

I take it as this will be a private arrangement & not through an agency. Getting room/board & a possible $1600 is not a lot for 24/7 care. Basically, you get what you pay for. Did this potential caregiver with a small child make such an impression in only 2 weeks? What if this potential caregiver (with a small child remember) has had enough? All this potential caregiver (with a small child) has to do is move in & she can claim residency, not do the work & live there legally. Then you'll have to go to court to evict & that can take a few months & can get costly.

Let's say your mother falls & the child is hurt too. Who is the caregiver going to attend to first? Your mother is 93 with severe pain issues. Her mental capacity is effected by her age, regardless. Don't fool yourself saying she is still pretty sharp but also has some confusion. One can't be sharp & then get confused. Remember, your mother is 93. She brought you into this world & raised you. Now she needs your help. You need to act in what is the best interest for your mother & that may not be what she wants.

Let me ammend my answer. This could work if the only problem was ACTUALLY mobility problems. But you don't qualify for SNF just because of severe neck pain. Please look further into what is really going on medically before you agree to this.

BTW, just noticed your pseudonym and if you are a man, that's a whole other can of worms that I wouldn't want to open.

Absolutely not!

Will she quit her job at the nursing home? WHO will care for the child if she's caring for your mother in law full time? WHO will pick that child up from school, activities, wherever, if she's caring for your mother in law full time?

My answer is no.

It seems to me that this could work for a while IF you are certain that your mom isn't suffering from dementia. However you would need a complete background check on this woman and a properly vetted caregiver contract that lays out everyone's rights and responsibilities. The most important point would be what happens when mom declines to the point that she can't be cared for at home, or just by one person.

I would question anyone who wanted to move in with a small child & provide 24/7 care in exchange for room & board. Is this woman/caregiver homeless? Where is she living now? How old is her daughter? If this woman has a small daughter, her priority is going to be her daughter, not your mother. Depending on how old the daughter is, that could mean changing diapers, breastfeeding, a child crawling/walking all over & trashing the place, a HUGE amount of laundry (for which your mother would be paying the electric bill), getting the kid ready for school in the morning (therefore taking time away from your mother), additional breakfasts, lunches & dinners (which your mother would be paying for), help with homework (more time away from your mother), bath time at night (more time away from your mother), etc. If the caregiver is working in exchange for room & board, where is she going to get money? Does she intend to work in addition to taking care of your mother? This whole arrangement stinks.

I do, however, know someone that took care of an elderly woman that lived in her home with her pre-teen and then teenage daughter, and it worked out wonderfully. The elderly woman liked the teenage daughter more than the caregiver!! She eventually passed away, but that arrangement lasted for many years. So, it can be done & not everybody has bad intentions.

My best advice is to leave your mother in the SNF. Professionals without small children need to care for her. Everyone wants "to leave". This too shall pass. Do not give into her demands because since she is on "pills" she doesn't have everything under her control. And at 93 yrs., she could lose her "sharpness" mentally.

Can't argue with any of the above. I knew this would have "ugly" written all over it- just throwing it out there to find out the legalities of it. I know 24/7 is impossible. "Room and board" does have value but doubt it can be "traded" for services provided. I would think that the caregiver would be both employee and tenant with every single problem that comes with that.

Are you nuts? You think that somehow magically this one person can magically do the work of three shifts of nurses? You think the young daughter will not be in the way? $1600 will cover about 8 days of wages; who pays the other 22 days? You do. Plus you carry workmens comp, unemployment and liability insurance. You send in the withholding for state and federal taxes. And you hire a second person when the first is unavailable or sick. Oh and you can't make her move out without eviction proceedings if it doesn't work.
Come to your senses quickly. Yikes!!!

There are rules about live-in help, and you will need to talk to an attorney about that. I question exposing a child to this kind of situation.

Wanting to home should not always be taken literally. Sometimes it is a desire to return to the past and the way things were years ago when life was good. I would give this time. The elderly require a lot more time to adjust to transitions and changes. When I say give it time, I mean weeks and months.

Seriously, talk to a lawyer. I personally would not ever enter into this kind of arrangement. Who is to provide care when the live-in caregiver is "off duty"? Nobody can work 24/7/365. I'd rather have my mom somewhere there is always staff on duty, regardless. Who provides care if the live-in is sick or injured or something unplanned happens to the child? Too many variables for me to have a willingness to even explore it. What if the caregiver gets hurt in the home - there could be an insurance mess.

That's just my opinion though. I wouldn't do it without an iron-clad contract in place that defines the boundaries, limits, and terms of this arrangement.