Sibling is threatening and making allegations about me and the care I give to Mom. Any advice?

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UsaPositive Asked December 2014

Sibling is threatening and making allegations about me and the care I give to Mom. Any advice?

I have a sibling who has serious issues and is threatening to have the "da" get involved with a few of his insane allegations which includes: a "fraudulent POA" (which is a legit document I have and has never been used) and also alleging theft of our mother's jewelry (which was removed from the home for safekeeping because once she was hospitalized, there were people in & out of the house, the rest of the siblings are aware of this and I even sent a picture of the jewelry at one of the sibling's request), not sure what else he will come up with......I don't have the energy for his nonsense but was wondering if he can attempt something legally? he doesn't have the grounds but I have too much on my plate that I don't want to deal w/ him at all, let alone all these threats.....

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score 0 · Answer 1

I've been meaning to do what Learning suggested. I keep forgetting. I will keep a notebook by my laptop..maybe it will remind me to log things down.

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score 0 · Answer 2

Sorry your brother is difficult. As bookluvr said keep receipts and accurate books. Might I also add to keep a log of activities & occurrences, including his lunacy or any other you are subjected to. You must cover your backside as I have found there is a vulture around every corner. You must protect yourself as well as your mother. Sorry it has to be this way but doing the right thing is not easy these days.

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score 1 · Answer 3

What's so frustrating is the sheer time and trouble these vexatious claims can take out of someone who already has enough to cope with providing care. It would be nice to think that you could send him a lawyer's stern letter telling him to cease and desist, and that that would make him pipe down, but there would be soooooo much spadework involved in setting it up and even then if he's not the listening type… sigh. I wish there were a simple, certain answer.

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score 1 · Answer 4

And when you use your mom's money for anything, keep all receipts. Photocopy or scan the receipts that fades. File it in a safe place. Keep all bank and credit card statements. As long as you have everything handy, there shouldn't be a problem showing proof that you're not misusing her funds.

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score 0 · Answer 5

In your situation I would just keep doing the things I needed to do and realize that I couldn't control my brother. He sounds like a bit of a pain.

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score 0 · Answer 6

it's a very twisted situation, my mother is incapacitated due to a traumatic brain injury she suffered a year ago due to a fall in the hospital, so without her positive influence, some siblings are out of control, the ones that have been involved the most (even prior to the accident) are the ones that are being accused of stealing, etc.....and the ones not involved are making the threats, he claims he has samples of my signature and my mother's and is claiming the document is not legit, like I said, it has never been used, some simply don't agree with it, he is definitely in the loop, actually one sibling who is manipulated by him tells him everything and then the bully distorts things and lashes out with texts/emails

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score 3 · Answer 7

I wouldn't worry about this at all if you are in the clear. I doubt he could even get in to talk to the DA. He might go to the police, Adult Protective Services, or his own lawyer. Unless he had some proof of his allegations they would be ignored. If anything were to be investigated, they would find allegations groundless, so would ignore. I wouldn't worry. I do find myself wondering why he is so unhappy and why he has been left out of the family loop. You wrote that the rest of the family knew things. Maybe he feels resentful at being left out, though from the sound of things there was good reason for it.

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Sibling is threatening and making allegations about me and the care I give to Mom. Any advice?

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