What do you do when your Mom won't bathe, let you change her sheets or clean her room?

pepper1, if your Mom is in fairly good health she could live to be 102... are you willing and able to keep up this pace for another 10 years?

What does your Mom's grandson [your nephew] do for her on a regular basis? Does your Mom communicate with anyone of her own generation? I guess going to the hair dresser once a week is socializing, but is it enough for her?

If your Mom was in a retirement community [or continuing care] she would be around more people of her own generation, with more things in common. She could form new friendships, and have time to learn her way around the community while she still can. I realize getting her there is another story, and she may dig her heels in. Some places offer free lunches to prospective clients. She might like the place. Then she won't be dwelling on things to complain about.

And your nephew could jumpstart his own life and be around his own peer group.

Good luck, many times our parents get stuck in a rut and refuse to doing anything about it. They are afraid of change.

If you are her guardian, it is my understanding that you are as responsible for her as if she were a child. If someone was to call APS, you could be held liable for neglect. She would be far better looked after in memory care or a NH.

I would do exactly that. Wait until she goes to get her hair done and get in her room and clean.

Unfortunately, mom is on the mean side. She is 92 and doesn't want anyone to do anything for her. She is not bed bound and gets around pretty good on her own. I am her guardian and conservator and of course I'm being accused of taking her money, etc. I get cursed out, etc. It is very difficult to deal with her. She lives in her own home. Because my sibblings feel if we move her it may be to traumatic for her so I'm trying to let her live her life there. I have a 45 year old nephew that is more or less her care giver. I just do all her shopping, clothes buying, paying her bills and keeping track of her funds. I'm the only one that does anything for her out of the 4 of us. She doesn't eat well. I take restr food to her 3 times a week. I buy the same groceries to her every 2 weeks because she will only eat certain foods and a ton of sweets. On top of all of this she has to have a beer everyday! I almost feel like I live there with her. I feel for my nephew because he gets the brunt of the complaints, etc. I just found out she's misplaced her wallet. I was over yesterday and tried to look for it in her room. She comes in there and tells me to get out, she doesn't need my help. I try not to upset her because my fear is something will happen to her if I upset her to much. I'm at my wits end! Her room smells of urine. I thinking of just forcing my way into her room while she goes to get her hair done of Saturday and try to clean up her room as much as possible while she's gone. What would you do? No help from the sibblings!

You call her doctor and get a bath aide ordered.

Is your mom bed-bound? I'm wondering why you just can't go into her room and strip her bed and clean as needed.

How is your mom preventing you from washing her linens and cleaning her room?

A little more information would help you to get more detailed responses.