What do I do about my younger sibling always worrying about leaving Mom alone, yet she hardly ever visits?

From your other posts, I gather that your mother is terrified of being alone and worries obsessively. Has she been evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist for these issues? Is she taking medication for them?

Can you arrange for your siblings to call her once a day while you're gone? How about calling neighbors and asking them to stop in? You can call once a day to chat.

If they don't want to talk about it, why are they stating their concerns about your shared parent to you? People who express a thought like that out loud to you in your circumstance are looking for a solution. They just don't have one themselves. Puts you on the defensive because sib can't be forthright. Doesn't want to tackle difficult problem? Who does? When I worked with team at last job we didn't allow people to bring a problem or complaint to the table without also offering a possible solution. It prevents people sitting on the sidelines griping and sets everyone involved up for working on solutions together...just an idea. Next time sib says she doesn't want to talk about it, you can in good conscience tell her not to bring it up to you again until she is ready to talk about it. Just my humble opinion.

Your siblings don't want to talk about it? Well, that leaves the decision-making up to you, doesn't it?

AFTER vacation, start looking into other suitable housing options for your mother. Realize that you cannot insist that she goes to a particular place of your choosing, but you certainly can insist that she leaves your house. Helping her find another place to live is just a courtesy on your part. If she wants to do that on her own, that is OK, too. Or maybe she'd like to have her other children help her with that.

One step at a time. Vacation first!

When I ask my siblings, I get Zero response. They do say at times, "I don't want to talk about it". That's about the extent.

I agree with jennegibbs. When sibling expresses worry...perhaps you could ask what they would suggest be done about the situation. If you place the ball back in their court, they might feel compelled to help find solution. Might be a starting point for discussion anyway...

Yes, you will have to break it to her. (And it might surprise you that when the dust settles you will all be happier.) Take your vacation, relax, come back refreshed and strong enough for the next round.

Mom's illnesses include COPD and CHF which is well managed now with nebuilizer treatments. She has slight cognitive decline, very slight. No dementia. She can completely compare a great sandwich along with milk and cookies. She needs no assistance. There appears to be no risk other than that she gets frightened of small noises at night. Thanks for the response. I feel trapped and alone and like my life is being taken away so I will have to eventually break it to her that this situation is not working.

First, what are Mom's impairments? Does she have cognitive decline? Dementia? Is she mentally ill? Can be prepare a sandwich? Toilet herself? Leave the house in an emergency?

Realistically, what are the risks to Mother being on her own for a few hours? For a few days?

If you got into this without intending to be on-call 24/7 but that is what it is turning out to be, maybe it is time to get out of this, and make sure Mother is well cared for in a different setting.

What solution do your siblings suggest for not wanting Mother alone and yet Mother living where there are not 3 shifts of trained workers to attend to her? What do they want to see happen? (If the answer is "for you to stay home 24/7 and be with her" disregard their input totally, and make decisions on your own.)