Can executor of Will evict sister who took care of parents for 14 years without pay from the house?

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beagle Asked January 2015

Can executor of Will evict sister who took care of parents for 14 years without pay from the house?

Moved in with parents and took care of them for years (total 14+). Mother died first 9/07and father 7/2014. Brother who is excutor of the will immediatley threated me to find a new place to live and get out. My brother did nothing for my parents for years even after he ritired. I did just about everything for them along with working a full-time job. He is the one who set-up everything with an attorney and made himself POA, Medical POA and excutor. My father was not aware what the ramifications were. Once my dad was admitted in the hospital in April my brother made my life a living hell. My Dad went to rehab after less than week and my brother was there everyday guarding him so that I could not get my Dad to change the POA. It even appeared that he was giving him xanax which was making him lathargic. He got a doctor there to deem him incapaciated. The last couple weeks my Dad was in rehab my brother did now show up as much and my dad was his old self alert and talktive. Once my Dad was released my brother put him in an indendent living facility where my Dad was left alone for hours at a time and had them give him xanax (this I know for sure was happening). Within a week he fell out bed and then was hospitalized, drugged and died (because my brother had him put into a hopice ward where they gave him constant morphine until he passed). This was so devastating to me. I starting looking for a home immediately even though I was grieving and suffering for extreme exhaustion. It took me 3 months to get a home (one that I was not particularly fond of) but feared being put out on the streets. Sellers moved out December 31 and my brother is giving me one month to move out. House needs some work and I am lining people up to come in and get it done. I asked him to give me to February 15th but he sent me an eviction notice anyway. I pay all the utilities, maintenence and also have paid for some repairs. Does anyone know if he can force me out before Feb. 15th? For the last year of my Dad's life my sister came over 5 days a week for 6 hours a day and was paid $1500 a month. I was never given any money and I also took 4 leaves of absence from work over the 14 years to care for my parents, numerous vacation days and personal days. I have not been able to take a trip (vacation) for many years because I had to be there for my parents. Do I have any rights if I am unable to get out by the 31st?

Elder Law Estate Planning

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score 0 · Answer 1

Buy your brother out. Since your going into it owning half of the house a loan for the other half should be easier to obtain. Its kinda like your putting 50 percent down. And the payment should be cheaper than renting an apartment. Its a win, win for the bank because in the event of a foreclosure they make a giant profit. Loans like this are usually easier to get. You cant honestly expect your brother to just give you his half of the house. If he were rich maybe, but in the real world that kind of money is hard for anyone to just give away. But sit down and talk with him and discuss the possibility. He may even be willing to owner finance his half of the house.

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score 1 · Answer 2

Beagle, if I were you I'd talk to a lawyer. Find a lawyer who handles wills, trusts and estates. Have you seen your Dad's will? Are you completely out of it? You can also check the laws regarding eviction in your state. Since you have lived in the house for over 6 months (did you get your mail there, bills there?) you can make a case for being a resident. However, the bottom line is that if he is the executor he has an obligation to the estate to sell the assets in a timely manner. That said, I would not be contracting for anyone to make repairs, etc. That is the responsibility of the executor, not you. You will not be paid back for anything like that done on the house, so either don't do it, or don't expect to be paid.

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score 1 · Answer 3

I suspect a mediator would need to be familiar with the laws of that state, and to be ethical could only "steer" all.participants towards resolving differences according to the applicable laws. It is possible a mediator could encourage one or more siblings to formally contest a Will, and a judge might decide the Will is invalid for some reason. In that case the estate would be divided according to that state's law. In my state it goes to spouse, then after that to children, in equal shares; if no children then it goes to decedent's sibling (s) or parents, etc. A judge can't just decide to divide it differently (as in, giving a caretaker child more than the other 2 kids). And a good mediator is simply not going to "steer" an embattled family towards a resolution that wouldn't hold up in court. Also, if the will is uncontested, or judge decide its valid, the brother who is Executor cannot decide to "gift" the house to somone, he has to divide estate exactly as the Will describes.

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score 0 · Answer 4

The idea that estate is evenly divided among children - isn't that part of the French Napoleonic law code? Does it have any application in the state of Louisiana?

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score 1 · Answer 5

CM, that is true for in the case of my mother's will, she did not leave anything to her husband or to his three children.

That is quite different that my dad and step-mother's will which after naming several items are for me, my step-sister or my step-brother, the will states that the remaining assets will be divided equally among us three. The will also states that my third gets divided between me and my two sons.

A lot depends upon what a will actually says, not what we would like for it to say.

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score 3 · Answer 6

Singingway, while it is a fine thing in a mediator to be so fair-minded, where on earth did you get the idea that an estate "must" be divided equally among siblings? Not at all. A parent is free to be just as cruelly partial or as scrupulously fair as he or she pleases. Or, indeed, as blithely indifferent to the whole question of who inherits and on what terms as Beagle's seems to have been. There may be natural expectations on the part of children, but there is no automatic entitlement to be treated fairly in a will.

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score 3 · Answer 7

I agree that the estate has to be divided equally between the siblings. And I'm not saying that she has been written out of the will.

What I am wondering is if the Will says the house is to be sold and the earnings divided equally between yourself, your sister and your brother, then aren't you basically contesting the Will?

I don't know what the Will says. I would be helpful to know exactly what it says!

It would be nice if the brother and her sister would each give her their third of the house or offer her the option of buying the brother's and the sister's third over several years. Of the brother's past behavior is any indication of his future outlook, then it is going to take a very skilled mediator or a very strong lawyer to make him come around. I don't know about your sister. She evidently accepted the money your dad gave her without any feeling of how unfair that was being to you who had not been given any money while you had been doing far more work. That sounds very selfish to me.

Go ahead and try, but is looks extremely tough to me from the outside. The mediator or the lawyer will be the one who takes on the burden of this whole challenge. How much do mediators and or lawyers cost to do this work?

Begale do you have the money and cash flow to be able to buy the other two thirds of the value of the house?

Sorry to sound so cynical, but I tend to believe how people have behaved in the past is a good indicator of how they will behave in the future unless they are open to a very good reason for changing. Beagle, you are a very good hearted person and your good heartedness has been taken advantage of by your siblings. That maybe be good grounds for trying mediation or a legal course through a lawyer.

I don't know, but I'm just trying to look at this from all angles.

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score 3 · Answer 8

I am a mediator, not a lawyer, but I believe that assets have to be divided equally between the siblings, unless she was specifically written out of the will. And as executor and POA, brother cannot use the assets to benefit himself. It just depends on what route she wants to take. An intense emotional discussion, but with the help and support of a mediator present. Or go to a lawyer who will fight for her half of the estate, plus anything else he/she can get the judge to award. But do take action, Beagle! Don't accept this situation. I understand how deeply tired you are. You are grieving for your loss, and you're shocked by your brother's behavior. But reach out for help. Don't play martyr or victim. Stand up however wearily, and speak the truth as you see it. There is power in that. Bless you!

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score 1 · Answer 9

To me, this sounds more like contesting the Will than it does like mediation.

What does the Will say about the house?

How do you or can you even mediate a Will without necessarily contesting it?

This almost sounds like trying to present a bill to the estate for time given that really needed to have had some kind of written and signed agreement for payment each month for specific caergiving services paid. Sadly, it is far too late for that and this basic question about presenting a bill for an estate for services previously given. It is not fair. Nor is it right, but it appears to be the legal weight of a Will.

I clearly have no idea, but I just raise these questions.

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score 3 · Answer 10

Mediation uncovers hidden information, so that solutions can be found to benefit both parties. Maybe brother thinks sister's work maintaining parents was adequately compensated by living rent-free for years. With time to speak uninterrupted, sister can really show brother the time, effort and value of her work over the years. He may decide to gift her the house. Maybe brother is jealous, thinks parents loved sister more, and is taking it out on her. Maybe brother is in deep financial trouble himself. Maybe sister can negotiate to pay off her "half" of the house, over time, to him. (The house probably has to legally be divided equally between them.) No one knows what the hidden information is, that will come out, but ask for a skilled, experienced mediator, and trust the process. Unlike a lawsuit, it has the potential for a family to realize that they are all that's left for each other, and to actually heal a rift.

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score 0 · Answer 11

Singingway, what would they be mediating for -- how long before she has to leave the house? Or do you have something else in mind?

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score 0 · Answer 12

See if there is a community mediation service in your town, or in a nearby city. It doesn't sound like you are able to wage a legal battle. So try mediation -- not with a lawyer, but with a community trained mediator. The mediator ensures that people have equal time to talk, and restates what everyone said, so they really hear each other. They also "hear" what they themselves are saying, and sometimes, hearing it repeated by the calm reasonable presence of the mediator, realizes that their stance is unreasonable or uncaring. The mediator does the intake process as well, so you don't have to be the one to persuade your brother to agree to participate in mediation. He sounds like a horror. So pray beforehand, and visualize your higher self reaching out with love and shaking hands with his higher self. In mediation, we know that people reach solutions that are better than anything either of them could have thought of before. I pray that will happen for you.

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score 4 · Answer 13

Beagle.

I think you might have got yourself in a bit of a state, emotionally. The reason I say this is that there is this entire whirlwind going on, you've been bereaved, you're exhausted, you're at daggers drawn with your brother whom you suspect of goodness knows what… and you're boiling all these years of history down to a fortnight's extension on a moving out deadline?

It doesn't make sense.

What would make sense is that you are right at the very end of your rope and are in need of some serious support.

Are you still working? How do you get on with your sister? And why, exactly, would you not be able to move out by the end of the month? You don't mention money's being a problem in itself: could you not put your belongings into storage if you're not ready to move into your new place, and stay with your sister, or in a motel, or something? It's for two weeks.

I just don't believe the eviction is really the problem. I think it might be the last straw, rather. Is there anybody around who can hold your hand? This is all too much for one person on her own.

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score 8 · Answer 14

Laws vary about how much notice eviction requires. Check was is necessary in your municipality.

If you have any recourse at all, a lawyer may be able to help you. I don't know what grounds you'd have but that's why you'd see a lawyer.

Why did you make all those sacrifices all those years, without some kind of agreement about compensation? Why did your sister get paid and you didn't? I know that there is nothing you can do about this now, but I bring these points up for other caregivers who are making all the sacrificing and not protecting themselves regarding some compensation.

Your new house needs some work? Get the absolutely necessary things done first, so you can camp out there if you have to move yet this month.

I am so very, very sorry that this is the way it is working out for you.

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