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bigsispjt Asked January 2015

Mom (81) wants to stay put. Any suggestions moving forward?

My mom lives in the Midwest, me on East Coast, two siblings on the West Coast . Mom and I talked today. She said she doesn't want to move and in fact said, "Nursing home, cremation, give my things to the Salvation Army and you and ___(my sister) take the mementos, and scatter my ashes in..."

surprise Jan 2015
Don't feel guilty! So many times, people pick up a load of guilt where there is none needed. Your mom is happy and has a plan. Just because YOUR expectation is to be taking care of her forever, does not mean that SHE wants that. And if your in-laws or anyone objects (if they think it was your idea!), tell them, this is how she wants it and who am I to deny mom what she wants. What a blessing to have an emotionally healthy parent!

partsmom Jan 2015
If she's content where she is, moving her would be very disruptive. Help her find an appropriate living situation, and don't feel guilty.

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jeannegibbs Jan 2015
Sounds like she has a plan. Ask her which one of you (or someone else) should carry out her wishes if she is unable to herself. Get the paperwork done.

pamstegma Jan 2015
Ask her for a DPOA and a Health Care Proxy for starters. Then carry out her wishes.

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