My mother has dementia and has been a nursing home since April 2014. She's more delusional than not but relatively calm now.
I had a phone installed in her room and got a very basic handset for her night stand because she can't remember how to work a portable or cell phone.
For the first few months, everything was fine. Then, for some unknown reason, she started yanking the cord from the wall jack which is halfway up the wall, not by the baseboard. Not just unplugging it... yanking it hard enough to pull the wire from the plug. After replacing the cord a couple of times, the very patient maintenance staff put the phone securely on the wall (it doesn't plug directly into the jack) put a box over the jack so she can't get at it and covered the little bit of cord with layers of duct tape. So now she's started pulling the spiral cord between the handset and base. I bought several replacements and left them with the staff. She doesn't remember breaking the cords and blames them on other people from the staff to various family members who haven't even visited because they live too far away.
I wish that were the only thing she's doing. Shortly after Thanksgiving she moved her TV (an 19 inch older tube model so not light) from atop a small dresser, yanking the power cord (but not breaking it) and Dish cable (breaking it) to the hallway. She blamed it one of the cleaning crew saying he stole it.
The home then gave her a smaller TV but, a few days later, she yanked the cords and moved it to the hallway again.
The social worker, maintenance supervisor and I discussed various options such as mounting the TV on the wall out of her reach but are afraid she might try to climb up to remove it so she no longer has a TV. Now, she's been yanking and breaking the cable from her roommate's TV after the roommate (who's bedridden) is moved to the day room in the morning.
Since she doesn't remember, we're at a loss as to why Mom is doing this. Have any of you ever encountered this behavior? Any solutions?
16 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
As far as the other nursing homes with dedicated dementia wards not accepting her... as far as I can figure they just didn't want to deal with a potentially problematic patient.
The third time this happened I caught him in the act, so to speak.
Me: "Dear, I thought you liked that new lamp switch."
Him: "It is wonderful! It used to be so hard to shut the bed lamp off!"
Me: "Why are you taking it off the lamp?"
Him: "Didn't you tell me that you bought it for me?"
Me: "Yes. I bought it so you could use it with the lamp."
Him: (Reasonably) "Well I sure don't want to leave it behind in this motel when we leave!"
Ah. His removal of the cord was related to his delusion we were in a motel. Makes sense if you accept the underlying premise.
MinNJ, I suspect that there is a "reasonable" explanation for your mother's obsession with cords. Maybe she thinks they are snakes. Maybe she thinks little blue men from outer space can eavesdrop through them. Maybe she wants to be sure they go home with her tomorrow. Probably you'll never know what her reasoning is, but somehow it makes sense to her.
Meanwhile, keeping those things out of her room seems wise -- or having replacement cords for the phone, as you've tried. How to keep her roommate's things safe is a bigger concern.
I wonder if it would help if she spent less time in her room. I don't mean have her sit in a wheelchair outside the nurses' station, but see that she goes to most activities. Even if she doesn't sing along or try to cover her bingo card or make valentines to decorate her room, the distraction of being with other residents might be good for her.
Dementia is such a cruel disease! Its unpredictability makes coping with it especially hard. If this nursing home is going a good job with Mom, I'd tend to tackle each foible as it arises. Keep Mom and her roommate safe, right where she is.
My husband, by the way, did not graduate from removing the cord to drinking shampoo or using soap suppositories. This may be the only odd behavior the NH will have to cope with for your Mom. Most NHs have a high proportion of residents with dementia, and if the NH is good they deal with the quirks and unpredictability of that set of diseases well.
This might be a good time for a discussion with the staff. Attend the next scheduled care conference. Ask how the staff feels about their ability to cope with Mom's odd behaviors and under what circumstances they'd recommend a memory-care environment. Not that it is their decision, but it would be useful, I think, to understand their philosophy.
I would evaluate what else she might be doing that could be potentially harmful. If she is not in a Memory Care unit, there could be issues. They limit things that could cause harm, such as having no shampoos, lotions, mouthwash, kept by the residents, since they may ingest them.
When a resident has certain behaviors, it may not be possible for them to continue in a regular AL. Memory Care is much better at addressing dementia behavior that can be destructive.
TXcamper, thank you too. I'll definitely look into the products and speak with her doctor about her medication.
One good website is: store.best-alzheimers-products
Another is: geriguard
You can google for others.