My Dad who has POA for my terminally ill Mom, is cheating on her. How do I become POA?
I want to have POA taken from him and help her to divorce him? What steps would I need to take in order take power of Attorney away from him and to make sure he has to continue to financial support her?
poa is an arrangement about trusting someone to care for your finances in a responsible way . that duty and where he parks his wang on occasion shouldnt be all that interconnected . i recently considered trying to obtain medical poa for my aunt because i have a habit of listening to medical professionals wheras my cuz pretty much just eats , s*its and squawks . ( kinda like a chicken ) . however after thinking about it for a while i decided my demented aunt so close to her end of life doesnt need family controversy . so in essence i put her well being first like a designated poa should be doing .
Does your mother have capacity? If so, she can amend her POA any time she likes.
Is your mother aware of your father's infidelity? If so, does she want to divorce him? If not, were you thinking of enlightening her?
Be very careful. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and your parents' relationship may have complexities which no one, not even you, could possibly understand. Unless your mother discovered this for herself, and has decided for herself that she is prepared to divorce your father because of it, you would do better to support her in dealing with her illness and leave your father to deal with his own life in his own way.
So sorry to read about your Mom's terminal illness. Depending on the attorneys representing both sides in a divorce, there is no guarantee that your Dad would be required to financially take care of your Mom. A Judge might consider dividing the assets in half is enough. Thus, it could render your Mom with less financial support as your Dad would no longer be around.
And the time line, depending on how the divorce laws are written in your State, a divorce could take anywhere from months to over a year. Some divorce cases can drag out for many years, thus quite expensive for both sides. Would you really want your Mom to go through all the stress and cost of a divorce? It can be extremely draining.
Unless your mom is mentally incompetent she has the power to name a new POA and/or seek a divorce. How ill is your mom, and does she know what is going on? Is it affecting his daily relationship with her, his care for her? I understand your outrage, but my advice would be to take a deep breath and slow down. Perhaps she would be better served at this point in her life if everyone can maintain the status quo.
I think for the POA to be taken away from him it would have to be shown that either he is not fulfilling his responsibilities or is misusing your mom's financial resources.
It is wrong that he is cheating on her, but I'm not sure marital cheating can build a case unless it is causing him to not do his job as her POA and is misusing her funds.
Unless that is going on and you have proof of his not doing his POA responsibilities, then I think your only recourse is to file for guardianship.
To get guardianship, your mother would need to have 2 doctors to declare her incompetent and someone would need to pay about $5,000 to bring this case to court. Would she qualify as incompetent?
I'm sorry that she is terminally ill. At what stage would you say her terminal illness is? Is she up for her competency being evaluated? Is she up to filing for a divorce from your dad?
If she is still competent and her terminal illness does not keep her from doing so, she could revoke her husband's POA and make you her POA. that a possible option?
I don't know if a POA or a guardian can file for a divorce in someone's behalf? I know this must be heartbreaking but does your mother know he is cheating on her? For a divorce to take place, I do believe that your mother would need to be the person to file for it and she would need to be able to endure and pay for the trial.
7 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
i recently considered trying to obtain medical poa for my aunt because i have a habit of listening to medical professionals wheras my cuz pretty much just eats , s*its and squawks . ( kinda like a chicken ) . however after thinking about it for a while i decided my demented aunt so close to her end of life doesnt need family controversy . so in essence i put her well being first like a designated poa should be doing .
Is your mother aware of your father's infidelity? If so, does she want to divorce him? If not, were you thinking of enlightening her?
Be very careful. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and your parents' relationship may have complexities which no one, not even you, could possibly understand. Unless your mother discovered this for herself, and has decided for herself that she is prepared to divorce your father because of it, you would do better to support her in dealing with her illness and leave your father to deal with his own life in his own way.
ADVERTISEMENT
And the time line, depending on how the divorce laws are written in your State, a divorce could take anywhere from months to over a year. Some divorce cases can drag out for many years, thus quite expensive for both sides. Would you really want your Mom to go through all the stress and cost of a divorce? It can be extremely draining.
How does she/do you know about this cheating?
What is she trying to accomplish with the divorce? Could she achieve the same thing by changing her will?
It is wrong that he is cheating on her, but I'm not sure marital cheating can build a case unless it is causing him to not do his job as her POA and is misusing her funds.
Unless that is going on and you have proof of his not doing his POA responsibilities, then I think your only recourse is to file for guardianship.
To get guardianship, your mother would need to have 2 doctors to declare her incompetent and someone would need to pay about $5,000 to bring this case to court. Would she qualify as incompetent?
I'm sorry that she is terminally ill. At what stage would you say her terminal illness is? Is she up for her competency being evaluated? Is she up to filing for a divorce from your dad?
If she is still competent and her terminal illness does not keep her from doing so, she could revoke her husband's POA and make you her POA. that a possible option?
I don't know if a POA or a guardian can file for a divorce in someone's behalf? I know this must be heartbreaking but does your mother know he is cheating on her? For a divorce to take place, I do believe that your mother would need to be the person to file for it and she would need to be able to endure and pay for the trial.