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enigma1234 Asked January 2015

My aging in-laws are financially dependent on us. What should I do?

My mil has hypertension and nervous break down problems if no one listens to her. In my first yr of mrg Shes done everything possible to trouble me from talking to me rudely, to being a possessive mother to making me clean the house day & night. Shes thrown tantrums in the middle of night asking y her son on several issues. Later we both got a job far from home & we relocated there. Now we have a child and 7 yrs of mrg later my mil has sobered down from 90% to 30%. Yet its difficult to stay with her. She luvs to throw tantrums spend lavishly which obviously I would object. My inlaws are completely depended on my husband financially. I don't approve to spend n not save for the rainy day. But they are very demanding & dominating. They now want us to start living together as they are aging and not live 40kms away even tho we in same city. They don't want us to take up job abroad and improve our financial situation. What should I do? Um truley in miserable state of mind knowing I'll never be able to live happily together

notrydoyoda Jan 2015
40 kms equals almost a mile more than 24 miles.

What city is 24 plus miles wide?

That sounds like a very large city.

rovana Jan 2015
Your spouse and child always come first. Protect you marriage. You have every right to find the best financially rewarding work you can. You have no obligation to cater to parents'/in-laws demands - they need to make their own decisions and live their own lives.

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xxxxxxxx Jan 2015
Eyeirishlass:

marriage

People are always looking for new ways to abbreviate words, aren't they? Sometimes it's a real challenge to read these posts.

notrydoyoda Jan 2015
What were his parents like when you two were dating? How did they treat you back then?

Are your in laws really that financially dependent upon your husband or are they just using him.

I don't care if this is some kind of agreement or cultural issue, he's married to you , not his mother and this is your first year of marriage to him and it sounds like his mother is trying to destroy his marriage. She's a drama queen and a control freak with a narcissistic personality or borderline personality disorder in my opinion.

As a young couple, you and your husband have some serious issues to talk over that may even need the objective guidance of a marriage counselor to help with.

For the said of your own sanity, your marriage and your 7 year old child, do not move in to live with them. Go ahead and take a job abroad and make more money. Why not? Where are you thinking about going to?

How big of a city do ya'll live in?

Eyerishlass Jan 2015
What is "mrg"?

BarbBrooklyn Jan 2015
This is your husband's issue to deal with. Does he know how you feel? Why is he supporting his parents, is this an agreement or a cultural norm that you both agreed on at some point? His first responsibility is to you and your child.

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