To whom it may concern,
I live in a 800 sq ft two bed room apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the world to live, Vancouver. The rent is $2100 per month and we had to converter our real estate office into a bed room for my mother when she moved in with us 19 month ago. My mother has no assets or retirement savings and her total income is $1419 per month. My sister occasionally takes my mother and we have been giving her $45 per day, we now feel this is unfair to us, we believe the split should be as follows:
$1419 - $700 my mother portion of the rent leaving $719 divided this amount by 30 days you end up with $23.96
We have offered my sister $25 per day for food. My sister feels this is unfair.
My question: How do other families deal with a situation like this.
I have my mother Power of Attorney because of her advanced Alzheimer's
Look forward to your reply
Respectfully yours
Leonard B.
5 Answers
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My mother lived with one of my sisters for about a year. Mom only had $850/mo, and Sis got most of that, of course. Sis also got some pay from Medicaid for the care she provided. One other sister and I each took Mom for one weekend per month. What I asked for (and got) was for them to either bring Mom or take her home from my house each week.
I know that my Sis didn't have to cook or take care of Mom for the three days she was with me, and I was willing to simply do this for love of Mom and of Sis. All of us were very glad that Sis was able to take Mom in.
I also know that just because Mom wasn't there a couple of weekends a month that didn't allow my Sis and BIL to use her room for some other purpose or to rent it out. It didn't save them doing her laundry, or taking her to doctors, or to the beauty shop. It was good that sibs could provide some respite, but it really wasn't like that reduced the cost of hosting Mom.
Personally, I think offering $25 for food is more than sufficient. If the sister who helps out is especially needy financially, then maybe you could add a little, and say it is for "treats" -- but it really shouldn't take $25/day to feet a little ol' lady. :)
Do you take all of Mom's $1419 per month? If not, then you really aren't getting $23.96 per day for food etc. are you?
In the US I'd caution you to have room and board contracts in place, in case of the need for Medicaid application. Even in Vancouver it seems like it might be a good idea for you to have a written agreement with Mom spelling out what she pays and what you provide.
Fair, in my mind would be 1419 divided by 30 or $47.30 a day, all inclusive. Because that is all she has.