Some years back my friend's husband had a heat stroke. A neurologist some ordered test as a precaution, said everything was normal, except for an "abnormal signal in his brain". (He's always been pretty reserved, "flat" personality, helps with nothing, does nothing unless asked.) Lately, he's started accidentally breaking her things. Not his things, just her things, which concerns me, usually things that have high sentimental value to her. IE Grandmother's dishes, vase, glassware, etc. Oh, and her car that she keeps real nice. Dents and scratches it up all the time in the garage, accidentally leaves nails and screws in garage and driveway when tinkering on projects. Her last car, (also very nice car), had 3 different brands of tires on it from this. (?) She phoned me over the weekend kind of upset, found the second flatted tire on this new car. Also had to take down and put away a curio cabinet, he was accidentally banging into it all the time while walking past. I know he's been told and told don't string nails around the garage, don't bang into that cabinet, it just doesn't register. Said she finally gave up and put it away to keep it/contents from further damage. (?) I'm left wondering about the "abnormal signal", wonder if it's getting worse with age? I know nothing about Alzheimer's/dementia, but am betting lots of you guys do. Wondering if this could be what's going on? I mean, that does seem pretty weird, needed to dismantle house, fix yet another tire. Ideas? (He's early 60's)
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My point is that sometimes things that seem to be aggression aimed at a spouse are really a problem in the brain.
What you describe is either passive-aggressive marital problems or a problem in the brain that may or may not be related to the the earlier heat stroke.
My bet is on a problem in the brain. If you have enough influence with your friend, I'd encourage her to get medical attention for her husband, and the sooner the better.
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Regarding the soda, sounds like your friend's husband could be dehydrated as soda isn't water. Dehydration can have a variety of different symptoms. And drinking that much soda, even though hubby had cut back, still has a terrible effect on one's mind and body. Soda is THE worse thing to drink when it is hot outside.
After getting two flats, I'd be looking for nails myself - she's crazy to keep doing the same thing with him being so careless or unable to see what he's leaving around.
He could also have a drug-induced tremor from the caffeine. This is from Medline Plus: Drug-induced tremor is a simple nervous system and muscle response to certain medications. Drugs that can cause tremor include the following:
Stimulants such as caffeine and amphetamines
Yeah, I'm sure she's right about the breaking things, had been there when she'd say things like, oh, down to 2 of my glasses from GMA, or I noticed big dent in her car and she said he'd done it, and yeah, he agrees. He didn't used to be clumbsy? Have heard in emails lots about the walking into the cabinet, OK, kind of a high traffic area, but, plenty of room there. She worked really hard for what few treasures she has, would think he could get it into his head to not bang it as he goes by, (several times a day), just out of respect for her feelings, ...unless, he's having some sort of trouble medically. Just got me thinking when it's put all together, maybe something's really wrong. And too, last time I was there and we all sat at the kitchen table I noticed he was really "fidgeting around" in his seat and moving the table all around with his arms on top of it, (was worried my super full cup of coffee was going to spill from it). She had to tell him to stop doing that, like you would a little kid, ...he just didn't used to be like that at all.
I just stayed in the sympathetic ear mode during our call, had lots of happy subjects flying back and forth too, but thought I'd think, information collect, write her something later this week.
Really, I can't imagine the breaking things is on purpose. Kind of odd that he never does it to his things, but then, women's things are maybe more fragile usually?
When you think about it, the glass wear and china are breakable no matter what, and a house is normally decorated by the woman so it will be her things that are presented. Her husband is probably also bumping into things in his workshop, too, but tools don't shatter when dropped.
If I were your friend, stop parking in the garage. I rather have to scrap ice off the windows than having to deal with yet another flat tire.