Can my Dad change his POA to me if his wife has put him in a care home and left him there after having him deemed incompetent?

Babalou gave you good advice. You'll need the assistance of an elder law attorney if you want to fight this. However, make sure that you know all the facts. Yes, medications can do everything you say. However, dementia can also make a person do and say exactly what your dad is doing and saying.

A neurologist is the best person to check out your dad. He or she could adjust the medications to see what is helping and what is hurting. Then, a proper diagnosis can be made. Perhaps a brain scan will show deterioration - or not. If you are going to fight this legally, you'll need all of the facts.

I hope that this can be settled so that everyone's best interest is addressed.
Take care,
Carol

You need to talk to an eldercare attorney. An awful lot depends upon the type of poa, what state you live in, etc. How is the care home being paid for?

Also, please spend some time reading on this site. Lots of folks think that taking dad/mom home is going to be delightful and often it devolves into a nightmare. Just make sure you understand what you're getting into.

Make sure you've got both sides of this story, and not just from dad. Before you do anything to change his living situation, I would have him checked out by a neurologist who specializes in dementia. People can be "sharp as a tack" and still have dementia, which is, after all, progressive.

We need a lot more information about what is wrong with your dad beyond what you told us. Have you spoken with his doctors? Being in a nursing facility is very expensive, so it would be unusual for someone to do this to gain access to a pension. Is he on Medicaid or paying some other way?

Sometimes the person who is in the nursing facility believes they are fine and that others have done things against them. But if a kind soul gets them out, they quickly understand why the family could no longer take care of them. Doctors do not tend to declare someone incompetent without reason. As the others say, it is best to learn all the facts before doing anything. Otherwise it could end up doing a lot of harm.

People with dementia / Alzheimers can be very unpredictable.Your Dad is there for a reason I'm sure most of his pension goes to taking care of him in the nursing home.My sister tells me one thing & reverses the story to the next person listening to her.It is no fun watching a family member deteriorate.It is much different when it is a friend You are in denial when it is your parent or sibling. I know My sister has Alzheimers I have to check with her friends to see if the story is true.She told me her sister inlaw died then added in the same breath No Loss.
It is what ever is in the mind of the person That Day. If I Could not laugh at times - I would be crying forever . Just remember this dementia is not going to get better - There is no cure & unfortunately they are not the person you knew!
There is no way I could let my sister live with me .I lover her dearly but from one day to the next her personality changes.The best place is a nursing home for your Dad.My opinion only.

Also: Seniors have been known to tug at the heart strings and pit family members against each other to get what they want. Just so you are aware.

Who is paying for his care? I see you said that she is taking his pension. I suppose you can go get dad and walk out the door. No one is going to stop you. But, you will have no money and no way to even get medical advice, without POA. I suppose he could issue a new one (not certain.)

Curious how one can take another person's pension while they are still alive?