We didn't get POA before because Mom wouldn't accept what was happening to her. Now what?

You are going to need to go to court and seek guardianship, no other way around it. Make sure you get the proper type of Power of Attorney for the tasks you need to perform. Before you hire an attorney, go through all of your parents papers and files. They may have already prepared a will, POA, advanced directives, personal wishes statements, etc, and not told you about them. Check bank statements to see if there are any legal fees that were paid, and then check with that attorney. It's really difficult when parents keep these things secret, and then can't remember doing it when the time comes. More difficult still when only 1 parent remains and is that old, since they may have prepared these things 20 years ago.

Heidi73,

To find an elder law attorney from this site go to

https://www.agingcare.com/Elder-Law

I'm going through the same issue as Heidi73. My mom is the same way and refuses to cooperate.

Is there a network or resource on this site to track down a good elder law attorney by area/region? I'm dealing with a mom whose personality vacillates more and more. I'm researching going to probate and about getting a guardian assigned to her since she fights us so much and is very hostile to her entire family (I'm the only one she'll speak to, and it's irregular). I might be willing to apply to take care of her myself, but I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure out the best options. This is with someone who has some mental illness, though not formally diagnosed, but she is paranoid, hostile, delusional, hides things, makes accusations, refuses proper medical care, etc. I'm trying to find a way to get her the care she needs without killing myself in the process. (Because after years of her hatred and hostility, I am worn out.)

Start by filling out a Texas POLST or MOLST form with the patient's MD. If she is expected to die within six months, call in Hospice, with the MD's referral.
You really need an emergency Guardianship, or ask the state to take over and make her a Ward of the State.

I am very sorry that she did not give the POA to you, but some parents refuse to face reality.

Has her doctor declared your mother to be incompetent because of her Alzheimer's?

If she's been declared incompetent, then your only recourse is the expensive process of getting guardianship for her. You might be able to get an emergency guardianship for her.

Sounds like you need to talk to an Elder Law attorney [some offer one hour free service].