Dad had lived with us for all most a year. He is 86 I don't think he could live on his own but could live with assistance. He thinks he can still drive even though he was just in an accident. Everyone is ok but he is now putting pressure on us to get car fixed because he feels stuck here. 3 doctors have told him
He shouldn't drive but have not attend away his licence. My family no longer feels comfortable in their own home. We all just cringe when he comes our of his room. How do we have the conversation with him he has to move. I feel bad but one person should not hold 4 others hostage. Please any help..
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Check with his finances to see if he could afford such place, shop around to see what is available in your area. In fact, go to the right side of your screen to the blue box that says "Find Housing and Care", type in your zip code, click on Independent Living or Assistant Living, then click on "See My Results".
They would also have transportation for him. How bad was the accident? Was his age or physical (dis)abilities the issue? Maybe he still can drive, but in a limited manner. Daytime only, or short distances only. We've all heard about the little old lady who only drove to church on Sunday, so her old car had low mileage.
It is such a blow to one's independence to be told by their children that they shouldn't drive anymore. I truly dread that day, myself, but I know it will come. Hopefully, they will be kind.
If you feel like you are being held hostage in your home, then your family is not cut out for this, and it would probably be best if he found another place to live. As far as how to have the conversation - he's your father - just tell him that you think y'all should take tours of apartments in assisted living facilities. He will probably accept it a lot better than you think; I'm sure he feels the animosity and no one likes to feel like they're not welcome.
Your profile doesn't say why he is living with you. 85 (in my opinion) is still pretty young unless there is illness or infirmity.