My Mom will not go to the doctors. What can I do?

Mom insisted she wasn't going to a Neurolgist. I just took to my bed. I do have depression problems. I told her that her health affects my health. I go to my Doctor and take my medicine. I love her so much if she doesn't take care of herself, it makes me sick. Her Physical Therapist also spoke to her about it being a positive thing.

I called my mother's doctor and explained my concerns regarding my mother. I asked the doctor not to mention the phone call to her and that next time she comes in to discretely suggest a routine memory test.
My mother constantly fights to avoid doctor's appt's, I usually just let her carry on, but all the while reassure her gently that it's just a check up. After the appt's she always comments "that wasn't so bad". I hope this helps a little. All the best.

Gosh I have the opposite problem, my folks LOVE to go to doctors....they could think of a reason why to go doctor every single day (including the Sabbath). But seriously, I would find out if a visiting Nurse could come to the house, make an assessment of sort, and recommend follow-up visits to various specialists. If the visiting Nurse can talk about the Specialists as close friends then maybe it would be more palatable to mom? Just a thought.

My mother refused to see the doctor, too. I lied. Told her the appointment was for me, that i did not want to go alone. When we got there the doc spoke to me so i couod fill him in. Then, he called her in. Mad, yes she was! But, it allowed the doc to see how bad she was. He put her on meds and the next appointment was much easier.
Get her in NOW! Don't wait for her to agree. Time passes, they get worse. My best to you!

Check for Urinary Tract Infection ! This can masquerade as dementia ! (It can still be dementia...but check first.) Can also be : dehydration, or a vascular issue. Get her to her doc asap. Can be something simple or alarming. Please do not delay. (Been there done that SEVERAL times with my Mom.) Listen to Heidi73's action plan- good idea.

Good grief she cannot live alone safely any more. Time for help to come in, or for mom to move to Assisted Living. She'll leave the stove on and burn the place down.

Read a book on dementia and Alzheimer's. It probably has a photo of your mother in it. HURRY!

Most elders repeat themselves 1, 001 times! They just can't help it. The "trick" plan of not telling her she has a doctor appointment until one hour before sounds like a plan.

Suggest going to lunch with mom and then make a doctor's appointment. Then when you pick her up, "Oh, let's just stop here for a sec" at the doctor's, and get her in for that appointment.

I agree and has been my tactic to tell mom as late as possible. There is no need to give her extra time of anxiety and if your mom is only going to forget, it doesn't pay. I also say to her the dr isn't going to do much, she only needs to see your face to continue your prescription. It takes the focus off of my mom and reduces some fear. Hope this helps

Good suggestion by Sueber48 to NOT tell your mother ahead of time about going to the doctor. My mother had such a dread of getting ready for appointments, I stopped telling her entirely. I just get her dressed each day in clothes appropriate for going out. Then on days when she has an appointment, I hand over her purse and say it's time to go.

Why do we have to go? Because the doctor said so!

If all else fails, there are visiting physician programs. And, as laurabutler28 said, the condition isn't necessarily dementia. Other diseases show the symptoms you describe.

So, there are options for your mother although not as many for you. Your distress at these changes is understandable. If it does turn out to be dementia, that's a shock at first and then a new upset with each turn for the worse -- a whole new reality in which to live.

Whatever the case, you've probably learned by now it's pointless to argue. You might want to embrace flexibility as your new approach to everything. Also speak little and smile a lot.

Good luck and blessings that all concerned soon are at peace.

When you do manage to get her to the doctor don't be surprised if she puts on a great face and snows everyone. It's called "show timing" and is quite common. I would make a list or note for the doctor and slip it to him for reference. This alleviated the embarrassment of talking about her as if she were a child or not in the room. Tread lightly.

She clearly has either Demenia or a health problem that is that is causing her behavior. Come up with an idea that will get her to the doctor. Be sure to communicate with the doctor first, so he or she will know what's up. Take her at the time of day her symptoms are most obvious. My mom could act fairly normal in the morning, by three in the afternoon she was a mess. If he tells her she needs to be in an ALF or have full time care, she will hate it but likely believe the doc. Her generation has more respect for doctors. They use to make house calls and weren't millionaires!

The doctor will just be telling you what you already know: she's likely had an "event" that resulted in memory loss. The doctor can work on blood pressure and clotting issues, but would she take prescribed medication? From my 12 years of caregiving experience, you're dealing with dementia and the caregiver is the one who will have to accommodate. Learn as much as you can.

Since she won't know where she is going, lie, and get her diagnosed, and then get help for her! She should not be alone without supervision.

I would make the appointment but not tell her until the last minute.

Tell your Mom that it is required that she see her primary doctor at least once a year [or every 6 months] or her health insurance would be canceled [that won't happen but it might jump start her to going to her doctor].