fuzzyknot Asked February 2015

What sends you over the edge by the end of the day?

It is (was) 4:45 pm here in Texas and I am counting the minutes until bedtime. Today has been extremely busy. I have been on the move since I got up at 9:00 am this morning. The entire first part of the morning was devoted to Mama, her needs, her wants, her everything. It was possible because my almost 5 year old grandson was not here. He was at school.

I left at 1:00 pm to pick up my grandson from school and returned home about 3 pm. The cycle started all over again, bringing, fetching, carrying, feeding, medicating, and on and on. This time there are two of them. My grandson was born a preemie with several medical issues himself. Topping his list of issues is his 13+ allergies. If that is not enough, he has the serious and DEADLY PEANUT allergy.

I could go on, but I will stop here, for now. I just wish bedtime would hurry up and come. I am so tired I could sleep for three days straight. Is it bedtime yet?

What should I do first? Should I eat? Would a good hot shower first be better? What would YOU do as soon as the two of them go to bed? What sends you over the edge by the end of the day?

Burnout

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My "over the edge" thing probably sounds very mild compared to the rest here, and I'm sure it is, but it's enough to drive me batty some days. There are just some days when all the little details make me insane.

Mom has this uncanny ability to wake up and need something just when I've settled down to work on something (I work from home) - so that disrupts the flow of my work. If I make myself a bite to eat, thinking I can have a single meal, no matter how small it is, to myself, without having to jump up and get something for her....ha! Nope. She'll wake up and want to know what I'm eating and want some too. Even if she's not hungry. She just wants what I've got.

After she eats, the incessant sucking of food out of her teeth begins. That's usually the last straw for me. I put on my headphones and block things out for a while. I can still see her and see that she's ok, but I can't hear the food-sucking noises anymore.

Helpful Answer (13)

What sends me over the edge is my sister posting old pics of my mom and dad on facebook and pretends to be the loving daughter...professing her love to her admirers...when i know she has not so much as called them in a month.

I MUST stay away from facebook!

Helpful Answer (11)

... particularly when it is the siblings having fun while you're taking care of THEIR parents. When the going gets tough, the siblings go to Six Flags.

Helpful Answer (10)

There is no such thing as mild in this situation... for anyone!!

fuzzywuzzy... does your mom show any signs of sundowning? Gads how I'd love 4:00 p.m. to roll around and she sat still.

Susan... I have to clip her toenails tomorrow. That's right up there with the sucking/smacking sound.

Helpful Answer (8)

I know as soon as I enter my Mom's room in the morning to start her medications, bath, changing. physical therapy, etc. etc. I will be running in and out most of the day until her nap, then I run out and do errands, do paperwork etc, then run in and out again until evening. I often think I am done with my work and want to finally sit down and read the paper....and then see there is more work I forgot about like dishes or putting laundry into the dryer etc. etc. By early evening I am completely exhausted! I read a book for awhile before I go to sleep and then I am up again at around midnight to check on Mom and empty her catheter bag again. I sometimes forget to eat supper!

Helpful Answer (6)

for me, it would have to be mom's sundowning. The non-stop pacing for hours... the almost insane look in her eyes as if's she's on a mission, which she probably is and one I will never quite understand.

ha, I have mastered the 2 minute shower and have gained such an acute sense of hearing (listening for mom during the night as she either fell or is talking to her imaginary friend non stop) I can hear the garbage trucks 2 blocks away... thus I run it frantically out and haul the cans to the curb. Another 38 seconds of my life gone yet more stressful than doing my taxes.

Helpful Answer (5)

Something I do to make my life easier is I cook every afternoon at 5:00. My mother starts getting ready for bed at 8:00, so it is good timing. It gives her time to get cleaned up and to watch another Waltons episode before bedtime. :) For me, it imposes order and ends my day of doing "one more thing." The time after dinner is mine. This has worked for me for five years now through my mother and father. I think having a schedule is important, not only for the people we care for, but also for ourselves. When dinner is over it is the end of my shift. Mom and I may watch some TV together, but I'm not working.

Helpful Answer (5)

Katie222 I forget to eat sometimes too. I always say after I do this or that or the other I will eat. When I finally look around, the whole day is gone. Many times it is midnight or after before I finally get to eat. I cannot even concentrate enough to read anything meaningful. So, I do something mindless like playing Spider Solitaire to clear my cluttered mind.

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SusanA43 OH! MY! GOD! Sounds like you have a clone of my mama. Her thing though is picking her teeth all day long, it starts after breakfast. When she is not actively picking them, she is sucking on the toothpick ir has it just dangling out of her mouth. She has perfect teeth and they are ALL her natural teeth.

Mama wants everything I have so much, I lie when she asks about it.

Helpful Answer (3)

Sorry I had to chuckle on a few of your posts since I can relate to them, I have a few myself that make me cringe when with my mil.
1) sucking the food from teeth ( she
declines the offer of a flosser or
toothpicks)
2) constant throat clearing ( oh no she doesn't want water)
3) food spitting when talking when eating then having the lingering piece of food hanging on the lip.
4) and also the never fail cough without
covering your mouth, especially at dinner.
5) watching television show she narrates non stop from the characters to whats going to happen. We know she has seen it
a hundred times and so have we but nothing else is on the other 250 channels..lol
I know these mannerisms don't just bug me but my hubby also. He says I cannot eat with mom it ruins my appetite and my meal. For the tv issue its a no win either, mom has a death grip on the remote..lol

I knew that we were not alone, so thanks for sharing.

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What sends you over the edge by the end of the day?

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