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rhappe57 Asked February 2015

I would like to move in with my Dad to care for him. Any advice?

My Dad (94) has fair income and assets. He is disabled enough that he can't walk well. I am 58 years old and will be quitting my job to move in his home to help him with daily tasks and driving. I would really like to get some wages to help me without draining his resources. I am looking for a telecommute job that I could do from his home, in order to be there for him 24/7. Those jobs are not easy to find. I fear him falling and that would cause him to be forced in to a nursing home or assisted living facility.He is getting social security and military income but a care facility is much more that I would require to take care of him. I'm not looking to get rich. I would just need enough for gas and food since he would be providing me free housing. Can anyone suggest a solution for us. Thank you. Richard H.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Feb 2015
Your dad can pay you. However, you should have a legal contract drawn up to do this. While his assets are good, he may eventually need nursing home care which could - again eventually - use up his assets. That would put him on Medicaid. They would look back at how his money was spent. Also, if you have siblings, they need to know about this. Using an attorney to do this legally is the wisest move.

Good luck,
Carol

rhappe57 Feb 2015
Thank you for your fast answer Carol. I have a friend who has a mom that had little or no assets. He told me to look in to social services because he was getting help from them, even though he is working and doing very well. I'm finding out that it doesn't work if the situation is reversed. Doesn't seem fair but I will find a way. I do have a sister that actually lives in the same town as my dad but there is friction between them. We both love him very much but I am the one who wants to take on the privilege of caring for him and she agrees. In fact, this was her idea. I am talking to my dad daily on Skype where she sometimes goes a week or 2 without talking or seeing him because it usually causes a argument, that stresses them both out. We will all talk to an attorney to get necessary legal paperwork. My best option is to get another job as soon as I can so that I can move there. Thank you again. Richard

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