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Browbeaten Asked February 2015

My Mom (92) refuses to accept that she is aging at all. Any advice?

She still drives badly and pits one sibling against the other. Falls often. HELP!No lasting damage from falls. Five so far. Head of steel. Will of steel. Wants to outlive us all. Very competitive with 3 children, all 56 to 65. Pits us against each other. Exhausting and I simply want out!!! What to do??

Linda22 Feb 2015
Do you and your siblings get along well enough that you can decide as a group to not play the game of being pitted against each other? My sister and I find that regular calls between us fills in "the rest of the story" that our mom may have left out, and we don't take action based on the wrong conclusion.

pamstegma Feb 2015
GOOD you realize she is using "divide and conquer" to maintain control of you all. Good grief driving this winter is nearly impossible for the best of drivers. Find out who plows her driveway. Pay him a bonus to plow her IN, yup, pile it up right in front of her garage door.

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BarbBrooklyn Feb 2015
Who has POA? Unless it's you, you are free to walk away and explain why to your siblings.

My mil did this kind of manipulating of her kids, playing one against the other. Unless sibs are all on the same page and agree on a plan, in your shoes, I would withdraw until mom asks for help.

YOU CAN notify DMV that her driving is unsafe. You can send her doctor a letter stating that you believe her to be an unsafe driver ( this creates a paper trail that generally creates an obligation for him to follow up on).

You can point out to siblings that unwitnessed falls, even if there is no obvious damage, can be CAUSED by cardiac issues, strokes and other nasty things. They should be responded to by 911, not well meaning children.

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