Anyone out there taken care of Alzheimer's parent at home in end stages?
I want to know if they all go thru 7 stages and what you experience. I want to know how you dealt and what it was like day to day? I hate idea of pitting mom in home. Are they all extremely difficult personality wise?
I did not want to put mom in a memory care unit in a nursing home, but there finally came a time. My mom was a pacer and would not sit still. I was having to tell her don't do that and don't get in that alot during the day. She was not wanting to shower and I had a time doing it. She wasn't wanting to eat and didn't recognize some food. I found number 2 on the floor, like she just went right there, not knowing where to go. I new the memory care unit was a lock down facility and that she would have a lot of space to pace. I wouldn't have to yell at her to sit down, because my nerves were getting frazzled. The time she had in the nursing home 10 weeks, gave me time to distance myself from her, as it is heartbreaking to watch the end. It helped me to let go a little. I miss my dear sweet mom everyday and I think of all the things she use to say. I hated that she was in a nursing home, but it was the right decision for me at the end.
The 7 stages are specifically for Alzheimer's Disease. They do not necessarily apply to the other 40+ kinds of dementia. Are you pretty certain that your mother has AD? Has her progression so far matched the descriptions of AD stages?
My husband was at home for his 10-year journey with Lewy Body Dementia, including several weeks on hospice at the end. He died in our bedroom, holding my hand. He was not at all difficult in his behavior or attitudes. He seemed to be a little less confused. He ate some days. He slept a lot. He knew everyone. (Typical in LBD, not in AD). He was polite to the hospice staff, and thanked them for help. We never used the morphine because he was never in physical pain. We used drugs for anxiety.
I was expecting a horror story, but it was a peaceful passing.
Where ever your mother spends her last days, I strongly recommend having the help of a hospice service.
If they are properly medicated, the symptoms of anxiety and depression can be minimized. But once they are totally incontinent, it becomes unmanageable at home. If they develop wandering, risk of death is high and they need a locked facility for their own protection. My girlfriend kept her husband at home until he became combatant, when he hollered and screamed at hallucinations and chased them down the block. When you have the need to call 911 for help, it is time for them to move to a safer facility.
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My husband was at home for his 10-year journey with Lewy Body Dementia, including several weeks on hospice at the end. He died in our bedroom, holding my hand. He was not at all difficult in his behavior or attitudes. He seemed to be a little less confused. He ate some days. He slept a lot. He knew everyone. (Typical in LBD, not in AD). He was polite to the hospice staff, and thanked them for help. We never used the morphine because he was never in physical pain. We used drugs for anxiety.
I was expecting a horror story, but it was a peaceful passing.
Where ever your mother spends her last days, I strongly recommend having the help of a hospice service.
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