Hubby (92) has for the 2nd time in about 6 months woken up at night needing to go to the bathroom. Where was it?

I've also found that a schedule really helps...I do certain things w/ mom on mon.,tues., etc...I put out a huge wipe off calendar and review it very simply with mom... she and our helpers have come to rely on it... she obsessed about it a little to begin with, but daily ,at the same time daily, we review what is going to happen... now she feels informed even though she can't see it well, t has provided a routine for her that makes her feel safe..

Thank you for all of your advice. Yes, Jeannequibbs, I need to make the decision. Hmmmm, regarding the adult day center, wonder how I'd get him to even try it. He loves just being home.

Cheyenne93, most (not all) persons with dementia do reach a point where they cannot be left alone. How early this occurs depends on the individual and the type of dementia. There was a period when I could not leave my husband alone at all -- not anymore than I could leave a 3 year old. Even to go to the end of the driveway to get the mail I would have him sit at the picture window and "watch me that I don't fall down, honey" and I'd wave at him every few feet. Wow! It wasn't that bad throughout his dementia, but he couldn't be left alone during long stretches of it.

Is your husband at that point yet? Only you can judge that. Is he generally more alert in the daytime than he is when he wakes up in the middle of the night? Has he ever attempted something dangerous when you were out of the room? Does he tend to wander?

A good solution to have some predictable "me time" is for him to attend an adult day health center one or more days a week. Not only is this a good respite for you, but it can be good for him as well.

This is hard. Do your best. Adjust as you learn more. And don't expect to be perfect!

I've mentioned memory clocks to others on this site. There's a wide variety available. (Also called dementia clocks) my dad loves his and he keeps track of the time, day, month and year. Before I got him the clock his was in constant confusion.

Oops -- I meant that I wouldn't worry too much, not that I would worry. :)

Cheyenne, I would worry too much if it has only been twice in 6 months. I read that he has been diagnosed, so it may be some early signs about what lies ahead of you. All I can say is to make plans about what you can do if the need arises in the future -- home caregiving, assisted living, nursing facility -- then to cross each bridge if you come to it. Some of us, fortunately, never have to cross all the bridges. If we plan for the future, though, we won't have to worry about it anymore.

It is good that dementia doesn't tend to hit all at one time. It gives a chance to adapt to changes as the dementia becomes worse. It may be fine to continue to leave your husband at home for a couple of hours at a time. I am comfortable leaving my mother at home for a couple of hours. Something might happen, but we can't live our lives based on small probabilities. It would make life as a caregiver impossible. If your husband has a Lifeline with fall detector, and he is fairly competent, you should be able to go out. Only you can be the judge of that, since you know his capabilities.

Yes, I have family and have access to caregivers. We've been to the doctor and he's been diagnosed. Thank you for those thoughts.

I guess if he is delusional at night, he can be during the day. And he could "lose" or think our bathroom belongs to someone else. Guess 24/7 care is in.

I'm not liking this! Can't even get to church or a haircut without someone here. Rats!!!!

do you have any family that can observe his changes? this sounds so much like the beginnings of a dementia related problem... and it could be so many things... TALK to him about it calmly, and see what he tells you... hopefully he will agree to visiting his family doc., with you by his side, to help him find the answers...

And no, he doesn't have any UTI's.