I'm visiting parents next week. What info should I try to get while there?

When I realized that my parents were declining a couple of years ago I started making a notebook of all utilities, bills,banking, finances, deeds, wills, doc and medical info etc. I live 600 miles away and I wanted to be able to deal with any issues or crisis that came up. All this info has served me well. I have been able to take over paying the bills after their garbage service was cut off because the bill wasn't paid for 3 months. If you don't have POA get one if at all possible. Keeping checking this site for good info to your questions.

Good luck, and I hope all goes well for you.

Thank you for your answers. I am planning to check in with there doctor although the doctors have been very good at answering questions when I have them. I think he does tell me what he thinks sounds good about my Mom rather than reality sometimes. I have already planned to speak with financial advisor and lawyer to make sure everything is what it should be. I am sure I will get from him everything is great!!! I need to see with my own eyes which is why I need to visit. Brothers give their two-cents but I'm the only one that goes to Florida. I love them so much that it breaks my heart to see them in distress but I know they will not come north anytime soon!! which would make my life a lot easier. Thanks

1). Talk to the doctors and get a full update on mom's condition. Do the same with dad's doctors. You need an assessment of both parents, especially since one is going to be expected to care for the other. Is that parent capable?
2). Get permission to review all bank accounts, debts, assets, etc, and get a clear idea of what their estate entails and most importantly, get a good picture of their debts and liabilities. These are more important than their assets, right now.
3). Meet with the case manager and discuss what you discovered when doing #1 and #2 and formulate a care plan.
4). Make sure dad knows you are willing, able and AVAILABLE to "assist" him. In reality, you know you will be handling this, not him; stroke his ego only as long as he's able to actually perform the caregiver role. If he isn't capable now, you need to take over now.

Can you get any feedback from the people doing therapy for your mom at home as to what their perceptions are?

It would be nice if you could somehow find out form her doctor what stage he thinks that her Alzheirmer's is right now. If you are her medical POA, then you have a right and a responsibility to know these things.

I would also check on the state of their finances which if you are her Durable POA, you have a right and a responsibility to know about. How they are doing with taking their medication, and how competent your dad is despite our he wants to be as a completely self-reliant 85 year old.?

Too many elderly parents attempt to put on a good show when adult children come to visit or when they go to see a doctor. That may or may not be reality.

Does anyone check on them on some kind of regular basis?

I hate to put it this way, but you sort of have to detach somewhat so that you can be a very observant detective for them.