My Mother has never had a test and has had it for about 10 years. I never told her, the doctor knows but never put her thru anything. We tell her she is healthy as a horse and she loves it. Who wants to think they are sick, not me.
valentinepuppy, you might also want to explain the situation to the Doctor and give him an explanation and your thoughts about why you are asking for his help. He is there to oversee and give advice for a situation such as this. Most Physicians really don't like it when they find out a POA, trustee, family members etc. are eager to exploit an elderly person. I am all too familiar with this and also had to do the same. Let me tell you, between the Doctor and the elder attorney they were stopped dead in their tracks! When others realize that you are smart enough to see what they are up to and also willing to do whatever it takes to protect a senior they won't bother you again. If they continue to plague you with these problems, you might also want to discuss with your loved one, depending the level of dementia, choosing a differant POA. She does have the right to do so, especially if she is cognative enough to fully understand the situation. The elder attorney can take care of this as well, if she is deemed mentally able by the Physician.
valentinepuppy, to find an elder attorney, I would call the county surrogate's office. They can recommend a good one to you. Or, if you don't want to do that, ask friends and such.
Thank you caregiver4all. Helps to hear some of my wonders reinforced as possibilities. I have been seeking an elder attorney...and you convince me that the timing is now. Who is the next question?
Thank you for answering my questions valentinepuppy. Your response puts a new spin on the issue, as I think that what you are saying is that the POA, trustee, family is pushing for these tests while the Physician sees no reason for them. Well, I believe that the POA is looking for reasons to gain more control over Moms finances, bank accounts, etc. and must provide some type of medical proof that Mom is completely unable to take care of any of these matters on her own any longer. If the Doctor says in writing that he hasn't seen any changes, you put in writing the same. If the POA, trustee, etc. keeps pressuring you, than contact an elder attorney, they know exactly what to say to make the family back down, especially when Moms Doctor is in agreement with you.
My mom was about 82 and diagnosed with a Triple A. She also had dementia and was in rehab due to a fall. She had broken her hip and had surgery. It was determined right after that that she had a Triple A. Her primary doc wanted to operate. I asked him if her mind would be better after the surgery. Well, no. Will her quality of life improve after surgery? Well, no. Then why would you want to operate on her? She could bleed out and be gone in just a few minutes. So I should have her undergo surgery and experience the pain and chance of infection after surgery? She lasted another 2 1/2 years, still in the nursing home because she could not/would not walk again. She still had dementia, but every time I visited, she was smiling. We watched TV, played bingo, went to listen to the music, attended birthday parties and yes, eventually the Triple A did rupture. She was taken right next door to the hospital within 10 minutes. They did surgery to repair it, but all her organs were shutting down. She never came out of anesthesia. Sometimes you have to weight the pros and cons and put yourself in their shoes. It's a hard position to be in, but when you're an only child, you just do what you have to do to make your parents' lives more comfortable.
Lucyom, I agree with you 100%, it is just not worth the emotional pain and stress . Think we all have to take cues from those that we care for. Good luck to all.
Valentine, what I experienced with my mom was that the neurologist appointments were too long and it stressed her to the max. Would would the outcome of this test mean for your mom? If he is not combative and just goes along with her daily activities, what is the point? My understanding was that if a person was diagnosed with dementia/etc that the earlier the patient was treated the more successful the MEDS would be. I, personally, would not subject my parent to any torture (which is equal to stress in their minds) if the outcome was not really going to change anything. My mom had a brain bleed, neurosurgeon wanted to operate. The neurologist came in and said to me, can they operate, yes. Should they operate, only I could answer that question if it would drastically change the quality of life, put my mom thru the stress and pain of a brain operation, subject her to many other infections, etc. you get my point. I am all for medically helping our loved ones but there comes a point where you have to decide if it is actually worth it.
Lucysmom; this does not sound like a good doctor for your dad...or for anyone! My goodness. I could understand this (maybe) if you had prompted the doctor beforehand about gettting your dad to understand he couldn't live alone anymore, but this borders on abuse!
Dad was upset because the neurologist had us both in her office after she was finished with the exam. First words out of her mouth were, Do you have a Living Will? Dad is and always was very afraid of death. She then proceeded to ask if he has ever seen someone with a feeding tube in their stomach. He was getting more nervous. She said that isn't very pleasant, do you want it to happen to you? She asked about him living alone. She said You aren't going to be able to live alone much longer. Will you go to assisted living or a nursing home? Now he was really nervous! I monitor my dad very closely. I know when he can't stay alone and provisions will be made for in home care for him. I promised him when we left there that he would not be going back and he won't. It was just a bad experience for him all around. He's going to be 95. He doesn't need to be reminded that his days are numbered. I want what is left of his life to be pleasant and care-free, not worrying about leaving his house or having a feeding tube in his stomach.
I appreciate the consideration in the messages that remind me about "not upsetting my loved one". To your questions caregiver4all, Mom is not demonstrating new major confusion or changes in alertness. And, being aware of distractions like tv while eating does support focus on the task. As for who is ordering the testing: complicated, but hard to work with poa/trustee/family insinuates strongly; doctor sees no reason; and for me unless it would determine that she can change her HPA once and for all, I have no reason to schedule a stressor in her world. Hope that helps.
No, I"m not suggesting a neuropsych work up. What upsets him? Is he asking the score? Is it just his memory that is slipping or is he becoming more anxious and agitated about other things as well?
.Dad is almost 95 and knows that his memory is slipping. He got upset at the primary doctor's office, then at the Neurologist, he got even more upset. His meds are for blood pressure and thyroid. The Neurologist wanted him to take a memory med, but both the primary care doc and myself thought at almost 95, meds wouldn't help. I watch him for signs that he's getting worse and so far he's not. I just can't see upsetting him by testing that would take several hours only to be told that he has dementia. We know that. As does he.
this is called a Mini Mental and is a very rough estimate of the progress of demential. Real testing by a neuropsychologist takes several hours (I thought that's what you were talking about) but this is a fast and easy way of seeing if there is progression. Is your father upset by this testing? Is he on meds for anxiety/depression?
My dad's primary care doc gave him a dementia test in the office. He knew the date, day of the week, got a little confused on the season of the year, but the last part was to remember 3 words. Hat, tree and book. 5 minutes later he couldn't remember them. Then he suggested a neurological workup. He failed 14 of 30 questions she asked. As far as I'm concerned, I know he has dementia and it will progress. I see no point in having him repeat testing as it upsets him. I guess an initial diagnosis by cognitive testing, but to retest when you know what they have is just upsetting to the patient. My own opinion!
May I ask a question, so I can better understand your situation? Who is ordering the testing and why are they doing it? Have you noticed changes with mental alertness or confusion, etc.?
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