Any advice on finding live in home care?

I totally understand Nina. I have seen wheel chair bound residents at ALF and some dementia, too. They told us that as long as mom was cooperative and could hold her bowel, and could roll or walk to the dining hall, she could stay.
Take her for the free lunch and tour. Let her decide.

Pam, the thing is... She's the boss right? This is what she wants. I agree that she might be happier in a place with activities, but she has MS as well and needs help going to the bathroom etc, so I'm not sure she could even get into assisted living...

Assisted Living would be a heck of a lot cheaper for you and a whole lot more interesting for her.

You could start with check with your local Agency on Aging to see if they can recommend names of Agencies, etc.

https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging