Some time ago I met someone who was caring for an I'll parent, they seemed exhausted all the time and I found out they get 0 days off. The elder that is in the care of this caregiver is also the caregivers parent. The elder's spouse is verbally abusive to the care taker and anyone that tries to help.
The spouse does things like scatches dry skin from the arms until the poor thing is bleeding then tells the caretaker "oh I didn't do that, I was just helping with the dry skin.", will eat all of the food off of the shared plate that is required or it's decided neither if them is hungry (the care taker feeds the ill parent regardless but recieves a massive amount of harassment and verbal abuse for not being a proper child and respecting the spouse of the Ill parent's wishes to not eat), this person cannot take care of them selves and has for some reason been cleared by the state as capable of caring for the sick elder. This is not possible. If anything the spouse needs to be separated from the sick spouse so that the sick spouse can live comfortably and start eating healthier.
The state for some reason doesn't take this poor care giver seriously when they call in concerned for their mother, being since there is an awkward legal situation and the parent is obviously being abused by the spouse who was cleared mentally yet is a known opiate addict and always steals the pain meds from the Ill spouse and tells the siblings of the care taker that the care taker is stealing meds and isn't sharing (yes that is actually what is said sometimes) I don't know what to do, the care giver wishes to take custody of the I'll parent but the sibling and spouse want to have "them" fired, when such great care is put into the parent by the caregiver.
There isn't proof (unfortunately) other then what was witnessed but the sibling has had the I'll parent hopitalized before and is after the current caretakers job, if they get it, the Ill parent will surely perish, and the one currently doing an amazing job who is tired of watching them torture the Ill parent til death. Just wants custody so road trips can be taken and the life in a solitary room can end for the elder. It's not fair the they are incapable of helping the way they should be able to.
These 2 human beings are being abused. And I can't seem to figure out how to help them! Sorry for the cryptic way of writing my explanation but the family other then the current care taker have it out for me and I'm scared to go into much to much detail.
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The caregiver has to want change, and s/he must be willing to risk the disapproval of the mentally ill spouse.
How the heck does one just get this sick elder away from those 2? The care taker has a spare bedroom for the parent, but is not willing to separate the parents regardless of how abusive it can get. What do i do to help?