Afraid to pick up the phone and call Mom in the nursing home. What should I do?

I do not attempt to call. Mother cannot hear, so it is an exercise in frustration. I send small gifts every week and pictures.

If it was me (my mom doesn't have Alzheimers, but has no short-term memory) if you can't see her in person, I'd just make my calls to mom very short and more talking on your end, with short sentences. Like, "Hi mom, this is Ann, your daughter. I wanted to say I love you and I hope you have a good day. It's sunny here. I hope it is sunny for you today too." Don't ask her any kind of memory question (what did you do today or what did you have for lunch). Or questions that she has to think about the past to answer. So "Do you feel OK" might work, but "how are you feeling" requires more thought on her part. And she may not be able to put those thoughts together.

I noticed when I called my brother from my mom's house (I put him on speaker phone) he talked waaaaay too fast for my mom to be able to process. I told him to sl-o-w-w-w-w-w down and to SPEAK UP. He felt very uncomfortable doing that, but that's what it takes for our mom to be able to hear and process what we say.

I'm sure you'll get other good answers. I know this isn't easy for either of you.

Are you close enough to visit in person? That may be a better option. Perhaps you can call when another family member is with your Mom. That way she can be prepared. I used to watch the residents in my Mom's memory care when they got phone calls. I think they found it confusing. I guess it depends upon the stage, etc.