The new nursing home is just a brand new facility that was rebuilt to replace the old rundown place. The staff are the same. The big difference is that my Mom was not allowed to bring her furniture.
In the other place she had her loveseat, wall unit, end tables etc. Here its basic nursing home fare.
She has been so upset. I am extremely worried about her. I think in the old place she didn't even realize she was in a nursing home. Now she feels institutionalized and is not adjusting at all. She is crying all the time. Says she feels alone and abandoned. I don't know what to do for her. The staff is aware and are going to check with her primary physician.
Does anyone know of anything I can do for her to make this transition easier for her?
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I have given up trying to get my Mom to participate in things though. I haven't given up on her but as far as trying to entice her out of her room, I might as well save my breath to cool my soup.
Lots of things can cause depression. Things that would not have upset your mom before might upset her now. Even things that seem no big deal. Regardless of the cause, the depression should not be ignored. It is not unusual to have an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety med. Heck, my mom is on anti-psychotics and all that. It's the doctor's call, not the staff's decision.
At some point you will have done all you can. All that is possible and more. Your mom might still not be adjusted and it might take a very long time. This is no reflection on you or what you have done. A lot of us take on guilt for these things we don't need to. Sometimes we just have to let it be what it is and just keep going. Sending vibes for all the best!
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When we moved my mom in I asked for the maintenance guy to be sent in to her room so I could find out the rules about nails, etc. The cheerful young man said "Do whatever you like. If you need help hanging a picture or clock or something, call me in. I'd rather do it and be sure it is safe."
Maybe being in an older (50 years) building has its pluses.
I think I'd politely but very firmly go a few more rounds over those property-over-people rules!
In any case, I hope your mom adjusts to her new surroundings.
My mom spends very little time in her room -- only to watch television, I think. We are all amazed that she is willing to go to bingo and sing-alongs and crafts and entertainment and just about everything she is invited to. Her first roommate sat in the room and brooded. My sisters and I tried to include her when we went to something with Mom, but she wouldn't budge. I do believe you've tried everything and I have no magic wand. But I think that can make a huge difference in their outlook on life.
She does have her own bedspread, pictures of loved ones. They only provided a rail type thing on wall for pictures as they don't want any holes hammered in wall. I have asked permission for us to buy her a recliner/rocker and they approved that.
Suggesting that she try to leave her room more will not work for my Mom. We've tried that for over a year. No go.
Why couldn't she take at least some of her furnishings with her? That seems a counterproductive rule. Does she at least have her own bedspread and some other personal things? I think that making the place less institutional would be a good first step. Have you discussed this with the head of the facility?