My experience is that many (not all) elders start to lose their "social cues" and therefore exhibit some inappropriate behaviors. Lashing out is common for a number of reasons, including not feeling well, depression, anger over "recognizing that they are losing control or losing some independence" and this vitriol is usually expressed to the loved one(s) so we bear the brunt of it.
I wouldn't expect an apology or ask for one. Let it Go is my new mantra with my mom. It doesn't mean I don't call her on it sometimes (not every time) and calmly tell her that she hurt my feelings -- but it never has resulted in an apology or her telling me she didn't mean it...we just move on to something else. I've come to recognize that she is secretly scared and unsure of many things at 92 and her unkind words are just a defense or reaction to worry/anger about being old and slowly losing your independence.
If it gets too bad; just calmly remove yourself from the situation and go outside, leave for awhile, lock yourself in the bathroom...I've done it all and allow it to pass.
Not much info about your mom. If she's developing dementia she may not be fully aware of or remember her actions. If so, I wouldn't insist on an apology.
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I wouldn't expect an apology or ask for one. Let it Go is my new mantra with my mom. It doesn't mean I don't call her on it sometimes (not every time) and calmly tell her that she hurt my feelings -- but it never has resulted in an apology or her telling me she didn't mean it...we just move on to something else. I've come to recognize that she is secretly scared and unsure of many things at 92 and her unkind words are just a defense or reaction to worry/anger about being old and slowly losing your independence.
If it gets too bad; just calmly remove yourself from the situation and go outside, leave for awhile, lock yourself in the bathroom...I've done it all and allow it to pass.
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