My mother, almost 89, is in a NH with Parkinsons, many strokes and dementia..A life long narcissist, obsessed with how slim and pretty she was, she's always been a picky eater but in recent weeks/months she's eaten very little, now eating next to nothing.
She's bed ridden, can barely speak and the last few days has started hallucinating. She tries to get in or out of bed by herself and they find her on the floor about once a week. Her room is near the nursing station and they keep the door wide open so they can keep an eye on her. She's skin and bone and probably weighs less than my dog.
The NH staff are wonderful and take great care of her but you can't force someone to eat. I was taking her cookies, fruit and chocolate (doc says try to get calories into her no matter what it is) but she doesn't want those any more. I expect the subject of a feeding tube will be brought up shortly and I've been struggling with the thought the past few days.
I am dead set against it. There was a man in the room opposite (he's gone now) who had one and he'd be in a high back wheelchair on oxygen, eyes closed, mouth open and just giving the occasional gurgle. I can see a feeding tube while someone heals but with my mother's current condition why make her suffer any more ... we wouldn't do that to a beloved pet. I'm sure many of you will disagree with me but I feel she only has maybe a few weeks left so why make her suffer.
Thanks for listening.
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There is a place for feeding tubes and they can be life saving bot not in the elderly at the end of life. So feel comfortable with your decision and let Mum die in comfort. having a gastric tube is not in itself uncomfortable and otherwise healthy patients manage them themselves just fine.God Bless you both
My husband was offered feeding tubes twice in his dementia journey. He declined both times. I supported him.
I would never want my 94-year-old mom with disabilities to have a feeding tube.
There is certainly a time and place for feeding tubes. But end-of-life is not it.
I'm on your side when it comes to a feeding tube. I never would have advocated one for my dad. Elderly people at the end of their life tend to not want to eat. I believe it's a part of the process and putting in a feeding tube is ghoulish.
You stick to your guns and make sure your mom is comfortable.