How to make my husband use the restroom, he confused how and when. How long can he hold it?

Aww, this is rough. He knows he should not need to be told how to use the toilet, but at least at night, he apparently does. Probably just help him without using a lot of words, maybe just "Oh, its a good time to go to the bathroom while you're up" and lead him in and help with whatever he can't sequence or remember to do.

Just wondering why at 3:00 am, is he drinking too many fluids before bed, just saying I'd be pretty groggy at that time, but regular waking time it is a natural calling. My husband, some days, goes in the bathroom and uses the toilet but from there doesn't know what to do. Your husband knows what he needs just try making it easy for him to find, leave a bathroom light on, I do & have one of those motion lights so when he gets near the toilet it lights the way, also I had a large mirror that is the first thing you see from entrance, he would think someone else was using it, I removed the mirror. Best bet is try to adjust the waking time.

Bless your heart. 64 is so young to have dementia and to be so very confused. I don't have any additional suggestions for you, but you are an angel on earth.

We used a urinal bottle. I had to help him, of course, but it was a fairly quick process and we both could get back to sleep.

Nadin144, I remember reading somewhere that if the bathroom is all white that it can confuse someone with memory issues.... try changing the toilet seat to a bright color [such as red or blue] might help... or not.

No, don't expect him to hold it. You could look into men's boxer style adult diapers, like Prevail, Poise or Depends. He may know what is going on, but cannot communicate his need or cannot remember where the bathroom is.