I want to get home health care for my mother-in-law so I can get a break once in a while. Advice?

Best thing I ever did was pick up the phone and call my states Dept. of aging. You would be amazed at the programs they provide for caregivers who are continuing to care for family in the home. Monthly care costs the state on average about $10,000.00 a month.

I think I would start by asking her MD to order a bath aide once a week. The next question is how will she pay for it? It won't be cheap.

What I would suggest is to back off on some of the things that you do for your Mom-in-law. And if she asks you to do such and such just tell her "sorry, I just can't do that".... then, and maybe then your Mom-in-law will say yes to you having some one come in to help. But make sure the cost comes from your Mom-in-law, and not you and your husband.