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rserrano Asked April 2015

My Dad (88) is just recovering from 2nd bout of pneumonia and is exhibiting irrational behavior and aggression. What do I do?

The Hospital said he had Dementia but he refuses to believe it, as a matter of fact he didn't even believe had had pneumonia until his Primary Care told him he did. He also has esophageal cancer in remission but has been verbally abusive and irrational and paranoid about various things. He refuses to go to any more doctors and has demanded I cancel his Neurological apt referred by his Primary Care's PA. I live four hours away and go down to see him every chance I get. What do I do?? He is calling people and accusing them of stealing his car key and threatening to call the police on them but then finds it in his robe pocket. He swears at me and other family members and he won't talk to anyone about getting services to help. I really need advice and love my dad!

jeannegibbs Apr 2015
er .. closer to your father ...

jeannegibbs Apr 2015
Sure sounds like the hospital is right about his dementia. If at all possible, keep that neurology appointment! There is no cure for dementia, but there are treatments that lessen some of symptoms. Let the specialists evaluate him. He doesn't have to accept that he has dementia, but his "memory problems" or whatever he will accept would be helped by seeing a specialist.

Dementia is progressive. Persons with dementia eventually (or quickly) reach a point where it is not safe for them to live alone. We extended the period she could live on her own for my mother by arranging a cleaning person, someone to do her laundry, meals on wheels, a visiting nurse, and frequent family visits. But eventually that wasn't enough. She is now quite content in a nursing home.

Are there family members who are geographically closed to your father whom you might work with to come up with a plan and strategies for him?

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pamstegma Apr 2015
I'm so sorry, but he needs to be medicated or in Memory Care. Eventually your local police will ask the county APS to step and seek protective custody before someone gets hurt.

freqflyer Apr 2015
rserrano, from what your had written, it sounds like either Alzheimer's or Dementia. One of the stages is being angry with others, upset about missing things, accusing others of stealing from him, and not wanting any help.

Is he living by himself or is someone looking in on him? Before too long he might need another layer of care, such as full-time caregiver or moving into a continuing care facility.

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