Is there any benefits available to help me hire day care for him when I have to be away?

Definitely apply for SS disability, this is not going to go away. Disability takes a long time to get (they hope you will get fed up waiting and find work) so apply ASAP. Also call your county health dept they may have visiting nurses or know of volunteer organizations that would have people sit with hi for a few hours. Can you afford to hire from a care agency when needed?

There are also day programs that he might qualify for as well...not just for seniors or those with dementia...

has your husband applied for social security disability and medicare?
If so and he is covered by medicare, ask about visiting nurse services. His doctor must order these but they are covered as they keep patients out of hospital and ER. they can provide nursing, Therapy (OT and PT and Speech), and Home Health Aides...Sounds like he could use the medical support and you could too. They also have social workers that can help you get connected to other resources.
If he hasn't applied for SS and Medicare - he should. the sooner you apply the sooner he gets covered.

If he was a veteran, call the VA. Also contact your county office of the aging and ask for help. Some municipalities also have a Senior Services office.