How can I help with my Mom's depression when she won't accept help or a diversion from being alone?

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PattiK Asked April 2015

How can I help with my Mom's depression when she won't accept help or a diversion from being alone?

My dad passed away last April after several years of Alzheimer's dementia. Mom was his primary caregiver and until near the end would not accept assistance. Now she sits alone everyday, refuses to do anything like go for a ride, get her hair cut, go to lunch, grocery shop, cook, visit ... Refuses every attempt by family or friends to do anything with her. She does tell me but not my siblings that she doesn't understand why she is still alive ... She is done. Her physical health ... Statistics are perfect ... Except she sits for days on end and declares that she is too weak to even walk around the house. What can I do to encourage her to return to living?

Depression

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score 0 · Answer 1

That is excellent advice. I will find the right folks to help and I will do just that.

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score 0 · Answer 2

You don't ask. You tell mom you're going out to lunch and oh i just have to stop in here for a minute (you set this up with the geri psych beforehand). There are no secrets, just therapeutic fibbing.

But, my mom can be strong armed by me. I didn't do it often, but I did it when I had to. I'd say "mom this isn't working for me. I have a life to lead and I have to keep you safe. I need you to cooperate". And she would.

If she hadn't , I would have walked away, the way my husband did with his mom. She threatened to call APS, because he was trying to get her to accept help. We don't cajole around here. Not everyone's style, but it works for us.

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score 0 · Answer 3

Thank you babalou, I will be getting her evaluated. are there secrets to getting a senior to cooperate in their own well-being?

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score 0 · Answer 4

Well, has she been to a geriatric psychiatrist? Depression is a real disease, like diabetes and deserves to be treated as such. HAS she been to the doctor and this symptom discussed with him/her, by you?

Depression causes hopelessness and helplessness. Your mom seems to be exhibiting both. Get her treatment.

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