Can my Dad remove my Mom from long term care without proving he is able to care for her?

Dad is probably worried that he will lose everything if she stays there. He needs a sit down with the financial advisor at the nursing home who can help him with a Medicaid application for Mom. Address that bigger issue, but I agree you should look into Guardianship if he is adamant about taking her out of there.

Someone will need to get guardianship (POA if mom were capable, but she's beyond that), and that person has to ban her removal from the nursing home by anyone. It's best for the guardian to be firm and rely on "the doctor said so and that's what we are doing" if ever confronted.

But the staff will keep mom there if given the orders. They will be the bad guys, and say, "orders are to keep her here at all times." They may say to take it up with the guardian, but dad may forget what they said by then.

I agree it's in your mom's best interest to stay there. Is there an option for dad to go there too?

thanks i am just at my wits end on what i should do and where i should go from here, any way we go about it Dad is going to be defensive if it isnt going the way he likes, i i know its his wife of 40ish years and he hates to see her in there but i truly its her best option

Talk to the discharge nurse at the facility and explain what's going on. I'm thinking he/she will get Adult Protective Services involved. Be very clear to staff that she is absolutely not to be released to your dad.