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EBeach Asked May 2015

Caregiver gets angry at other residents at my Mom's personal care home. What is the next step we should take?

My mom just moved into a new personal care home last week, she was actually the first resident. There are now three other residents there. My mom tells me that the caregiver yells at the other residents all the time. It can be 8pm and they are in the living room area and she yells at them to get back into their rooms and go to bed. She yells at them if they sit at the dining room table while she is cooking dinner (I have observed that myself). She yells at them to clear their table, instead of just asking. My mom does not get yelled at herself. The other woman are much older than her and typically sleep in their rooms all day. My mom is younger than the average personal in a care home, she is 67, she's there because of her MS.

My mom has told the manager of the home about this and it seems he has done nothing about it. What is the next step we should take? Observing her with my mom, she is very good with my mom, maybe a little lazy if anything but she does her job.

anonymous281963 May 2015
Good for you.

anonymous281963 May 2015
I would love to see that on Youtube. These homes are certified, "RCFE", but you go on taking care of mom, that is your job. Life is so short to take detours trying to make others accountable for their jobs, when our job would suffer. Godd for you for finding a new place for your mom!

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Countrymouse May 2015
It sounds as if this place is a bit amateurish, to put it politely. Glad to hear you'll be voting with your feet and moving your mother to somewhere better run - best of luck with finding somewhere comfortable for her.

EBeach May 2015
Management has been told about this, and nothing has been done. Turns out we are finding a new place for my mom anyways, the owner promised to build handicap ramps for my mom the day following her move-in. One was built but for her to legally be there another one needs to and he decided to kick her out rather than build a new one. The place has lots of problems besides what I have mentioned also, I think it will be a good move anyways for the next move for her.

pamstegma May 2015
Most of these Personal Care Homes have cameras in the common areas. Your mom may be trying to manipulate you into taking her to your home. My MIL is in Assisted Living and insists "they are conspiring against me". She is 88 and was always very independent in her better years. She insists she is moving back home someday. We know that will never happen.

Countrymouse May 2015
Ask the manager what he has done about your report to him.

What are you expecting him to do, by the way?

Windyridge May 2015
This should be dealt with pronto. No one needs that kind of stress much less elders who need peace,calm, and quiet. Talk to management and make sure this caregiver takes no revenge on mom. It sounds like she's in the wrong line of work.

cwillie May 2015
I find it telling that the caregiver is yelling and has been working for only one week. It can be stressful to start in a new place it could be that things will calm down when she has settled everyone into a routine and she gets a better handle on things. However, I would be concerned that yelling (or worse) will crop up whenever she is under stress, and god knows there will be plenty of stressful moments in caring for a house full of seniors. Keep a watchful eye and document her behavior. Even if your mom is not a target the negative energy in the place is bound to affect her.

JessieBelle May 2015
EBeach, I would follow your mother's lead on what she wants to do. If she wants to try to find another place, then I would do it. I hope things work out so that she can enjoy her life. Are there things at the home that she likes? Are they enough to make up for the yelling? I wonder if the caregiver is one of the types that communicates crudely or if she is being hostile. How does your mother feel about it? That would be my big consideration.

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