My brother is suing me because in the early stages of Mom's dementia she was able to make decisions. What can I do?

My mom deeded over 1/2 the land (acreage) & the home to my brother and then to me. He kicked mother out when he found out she gave me 1/2 also. When I read the post which says I cannot be her POA, I changed mom's POA to my daughter, mom's granddaughter, whom also, helps me with mom, taking her to doctor appts beauty shop when I am not available. I am countersuing my brother and my attorney is taking care of all and I need not worry about that any longer. Mom is doing very well as none of us are speaking of my brother at all. Mom is happier and is remembering things which are amazing me and my daughter. Mom's neurologist sees her and she took another test recently and she performed better on it than she did on the 1st test 2 years ago, that test was after she lost her husband to lung cancer. She was devastated to say the least.

This is complex. It would have been better that when your Dad had died that your Mom continued to own all the land and the house.... and waited until she passed to Will the land/house to you and your brother.

Now when the time comes to sell the land/house, both you and your brother's capital gains tax on the property will be whatever price your parents had paid for land/house when they bought it.... if said property had been Willed to both of you, the capital gains basis would be the market value of the land/house at on the date of death.

If only you could turn back time and your parents had done things differently... you need to march forward. Ask your Mom if she still has the paperwork of when she and your Dad had bought the property and what they had paid. If not, the county should have it in their records.

Curious why your brother and his wife feel that he should have all the land and the house? By the way, who has ownership of the house alone? Who now lives in that house? Did your Mom have "life estate"? Meaning even if she no longer owns her house, she can spend the rest of her life in that house. Once she moves out, the "life estate" ends, and the current owner can do whatever he/she pleases with the house.

My mother made me her POA back in early 2013 and when my brother had an attorney to send me a letter in May of this year telling me I had to give back the 1/2 undivided interest of the land/house she deeded to me in 2014. My brother had already been deeded his half of the land/house a few years ago, after my dad passed away. So when I received the letter from the lawyer, I ask a lawyer friend of mine I use in my professional business what he thought and he said I might want to let my daughter be Mothers POA due to the years as a teen & the trouble I got into.

My daughter agreed and Mother agreed and my lawyer wrote up the new POA for my Mom. I am my Mother's POA on medical as she lives with me and my husband. I take care of my Mother and don't want it any other way. MY brother certainly doesn't want to have anything to do with Mother. He has clearly shown that to be true.
After my brother kicked her out when she told him she had deeded the other half of the undivided interest of the land/house to me.

Mom has been in the ER 2x's in June and he didn't even care to see if she was ok or anything, no word at either time while she was in the hospital. He is very angry over him not getting my half. Mom told the attorney yesterday that she has two children and the land/house is to be split between the both of us. Mom does not own the small farm nor the home on it. This is the reason my brother is suing me. For the little bit of land and the house, which I gave my mom the money to pay it off in 1997 and Dad gave my brother his half right before he died. My half was to go to me when Mother passes. Mother wanted to change it to give it to me last year and she did. I told my brother she deeded my half to me and he didn't say a word. Then my brothers wife went ballistic about Mom giving me my half and had the lawyer to send the letter demanding me to re-deed it to Mom. I hope I am able to clear all the confusion up for you. This is sounding like a soap opera to me.

I do want to clear up the confusing part I have written so I could get help from people like you all. I am new to this (taking care of my Mother). I see some little things which I know are not Mom and it breaks my heart. I love her so much and sometimes I just cry because I see those little moments and ask myself, that's the disease, that's not Mom. I just wonder if they are going to come to stay and how long before I see my Mother doing things that are not my Mom. Do they become more often? Do they ever just stay one day and never leave?

How did you change the POA to your daughter? This just gets more confusing.

Here's what we need to know regarding the house. Did your mother execute a quit claim deed to you and your brother, each for an equal 1/2 share? Or is this a provision in her will?

"How do I help my mom stay stress free?" You have stated she has dementia, so she probably isn't able to comprehend or remember what you have told her. Don't talk about it when she can hear. If she asks, redirect her or assure her that it is taken care of.
As for the funeral, you can cross that bridge when the time comes. Again, reassure or redirect your Mom. Realistically, how would you keep them out if they showed up, hire a bouncer? It's not worth stressing over something that may never happen.

Jodi, let me get this straight... your Mom owns land/house.... your Mom has in her current Will that you will get 1/2 the value of the land/house and your brother will get the other half of the value of the land/house. Or does your Mom currently own 1/2 the land/house, and you and your brother own the other 1/2 [1/4 + 1/4]?

Is the land/house already deeded to your Mother, you, and your brother? Sounds that way. Or do you mean when your Mother passes on that you will get 1/2 of the land/house and your brother will get the other half of the land/house?

Your brother is suing for 100% of the land/house? Or suing for his share thinking the Will had been changed?

This is also confusing, in your original posting you wrote " I am her POA now", then you wrote your daughter is her grandmother's POA.

Yikes, I am stressed out just reading all this. Best to tell your Mom the attorney is working it all out, don't worry about it any more. Don't talk about it. Only time to bring it up is if the attorney needs more information that he needs from your Mom.

I was her POA at the time of signing her checks and I have always been on her banking accounts as well. My brother is suing me for 1/2 of our farm which my mother gave me 1/2 and my brother 1/2 and I took her to her Neurologist to make sure she is able to make those decisions and he told me she could after talking with her and giving her some tests.
My brother is suing me for the 1/2 Mother gave me. I am paying all the bills for the land and the house on the land with my money. I hired a lawyer yesterday and he said this is a frivolous case and it will go on for a long time. The lawyer said my brother cannot win. I don't understand why he is doing this as it is upsetting my mom something terrible. The attorney took her deposition yesterday and said he doesn't know why my brother is saying she is mentally impaired. He didn't see it in her answers.

I just want my mother to be stress free and to live her life comfortable w/o the stress my brother is putting on her. I have accepted the fact something is not right with my brother and his wife.

I changed the POA to my daughter because of the trouble I had as a teenager. I am 66 now and only want the best for my mom as she worked 2 jobs and sometimes 3 to raise my brother and me. She became the Officer of a large banking institution and gave up so much to take care of her children. She is very selfless and amazing. My dad was an alcoholic and did not work much. My mom was the ROCK of our family.

What do I do about Mother not wanting my brother and his wife at her funeral or viewing? She made me promise to her that I would not let them come. I don't want to keep my brother from her funeral, when that time comes. Do I keep my promise or break it? I have to live with myself and I don't know what to do. Any advice on this. Some of my church members have said, she will be gone and won't know. I WILL KNOW.....

Last question:
How do I help my mom stay stress free?

Tell us more about what your brother is suing you for. For paying your mother's bills with her money? Whether you had POA or not, he was not injured by that and I cannot imagine what he could successfully sue you for. So help us understand it.

Maggie's question on whether or not the will was changed still needs to be answered. The statement that you're being sued also needs clarification. For what are you being sued? What are the allegations and the relief sought? Have you answered and/or filed countersuit? Hired an attorney to defend you?

In addition, you state that you are "her POA now"; were you holding that position when you signed her checks?

She is in a very early stage of demential. She dresses herself and helps me cook and her hygiene is perfect. I am seeing some some short term memory problems. Not long term memory.

Yeah, something doesn't make sense here...? "She wants them out of her will," followed by "She took them out of her will." All the while inferring she has worse dementia now than she had previously...yet she changed her will.

What is your question?

And if you have a criminal record you will not be able to be appointed guardian. There are Geriatric Care Managers that can be nominated as guardians and conservators. Find one or get an elder law attorney to help you.