Can I move my partner with Alzheimer's/dementia so I can be closer to my kids?

I was one who promised I would never put him in a "HOME". BUT, the care is difficult and the anger that comes out now and then hurts. If I am sitting down resting, he wants to have me do something NOW, not tomorrow. If these loved ones truly knew that they were harming the relationship of the caregiver and them, they would stop. But, they obviously do not know and become extremely needy and selfish. Thank God they have moments when they are loving and thankful. Sleeping is GREAT. I love it...No one to answer to except my dreams, which get interrupted every few hours...But, at least I am lying down resting. I know the day is coming when I will have to break my promise or harm myself. My back is killing me from bending down to put his socks on. I cannot do it anymore. I am going to buy some slip on soft slipper that have slip proof bottoms. Any suggestions? Anyway another day of caregiving.

There are in home programs, call the local area agency on aging for more information on them. Ask them about an adult medical day care, it would be wonderful, your partner can go there to socialize, participate in activities and eat a meal. You can get more info on caring for someone with dementia from the Alzheimer's association. If you do move, make sure the home environment is arranged the same way, change can confuse someone with dementia and can cause behavior issues. You might want to speak with a legal aid or elder law attorney regarding assets. Good luck

If I put him in a nursing home or care facility, they would use ALL OUR money up and there would be nothing left for me. I would be destitute. I think that is the right word...I would be dependent on my kids.. As it stands now, we have a savings account and the house...I CANNOT let the state spend that. I just can't. So I must do the caregiving. I think I would be open to hiring someone for a few hours each week to give me time to do some sitting on the beach or just go somewhere and read.

NEVER put an Alzheimer's patient on a plane. Avoid moves and changes. Get a sitter or respite care for him and go visit your kids for a month. You might change your mind.

Windyridge....I have been doing home care for about 4 years now. Finally, the doctor called in home health. Now my partner has a nurse once a week and PT twice a week. He responds well to both. I would love to just take off while the help is here, but they want me involved and I understand why. I am thinking of selling our home and renting an apt near my son. I would NEVER put this on my kids to help me other than just taking me out of the scene now and then. As of now, I have no one here and so it is totally on my shoulders. If I move my shoulders would still be used, but I would be able to see my kids now and then. So far I have been able to budget well and am not spending a great deal of money on his care. I have said earlier on here, he is 16 years older than I am. Something MUST be left to help me once he is gone. So, I have to budget and buy wisely. I cannot take him on short trips for a weekend as he gets frustrated to easily. If we move, I would have to fly with him. And, that would be no picnic as he might act out on the plane. So driving would be better but probably harder on him. I am just thinking of moving at this point. I am trusting God on this.

I think there are several factors to be considered. How advanced is the dementia? What level of care is required? Can you handle 24/7 care and keep your health and sanity? You can read dozens of posts here from people who promised their loved ones they would never be put in a care facility only to find their lives coming apart with the stress and responsibilities . Others have managed to keep it together caring for loved ones at home. Look closely at your particular situation before committing to home care.