Dad is demanding to go back to his condo. How do I deal?

Sometimes playing a bit of poker may help. It may also be that he's asserting his control, and it's a battle for him to be dominant and get what he wants.

What do you think his response would be if you agreed that he could return to the condo, telling him that you'll make a list of everything he'll need and ask him to do the same thing....all with the goal of ensuring that he's well prepared when you go on vacation?

Oh, yes. I have been through the "I want to go home." At first, I thought I could take mom to see her house, but I noticed that she was dead weight that needed lifted. I told her to arrange it and go, but I was not able to lift her. She has a phone. The NH has transportation. She never did.

If your dad does go home, maybe he will realize that he cannot manage by himself.

Thank you all for your thoughts and support. My dad is ambulatory enough to use the bathroom with his walker. But he likes to think he doesn't need his walker. He is cognitive and can feed himself. I looked into a caregiver coming into my home, but didn't pursue because he said he would go to the ALF for a week. Not sure I have time now to interview and hire a caregiver. Will make some more phone calls on Tuesday.

would hiring someone to come by 2x a day be similar in cost to assisted living?

Is he ambulatory enough to go to the bathroom on his own?
Is he mentally aware, knows who he is, knows how to ask for help?
Can he feed himself, assuming food is delivered? This can be arranged.
Will he agree to having a caregiver drop by daily?
Can you afford to hire a caregiver for a week? Instead of respite.
If yes to all, I would take him home ASAP, and settle him in before going on vacation.

If no, I would tell him he is going home and take him to respite instead.....or hire a caregiver to stay with him at your place.

I see the last person posted about an hour ago. So you may have it all settled by no!!
Leave his ranting and raving. You do not need or want to hear his verbal lashing. Tell him you will come back and speak to him when he is reasonable.
Then, First, it is your decision, not his. However, it is about him AND about your family!. He is scared to have you gone. to have someone else watching out for him.
You must be firm with him and LOVING!! 'This is what is going to happen' is an approach we used with my folks. But I will say that being an only child will make this harder for you than it was for the 4 of us. We all approached them with various 'angles'. Found this one I mentioned to be the one that was going to work and we all then used the same strategy... Let us know how this goes. Will be praying for you and your family. Your Dad, too!!
God Bless!

I know. We have the respite care arranged, but he is yelling and demanding to go back to condo. I am at my wit's end.

Arrange for 2 weeks respite care and MAKE him go. Tell him it is no longer up to him. If you let him go home by himself, he will undoubtedly get in trouble at home and then you will have to come home from your vacation.

This unpleasant but you need a vacation and you can deal with the fallout when you get home. Speaking from personal experience.