I'm told through social worker for Mom to be put on Medicaid and to place her in a home of where Kaiser Insurance can pay for some things. Any advice?

Your mother should have sold the home to you five (or 25) years ago. Or at least deeded the house to you. Especially, if she owns it free and clear. I am sorry, but I have learned a lot of this site and instead of worrying about what I am putting aside, I am playing their game and have started keeping journals, receipts, checks, taxes, you name it. I have it. I will do all I can to make sure that my Partner and I are not in poverty due to mismanagement on my part. These laws all came about because the govt 1) needed to pay the bills and needed the money to pay the bills SIMPLE....It will get much worse with the New Health Care Bill. YOU WAIT.... If you spend a penny, and it was the patients money, it must be documented period, no ifs or buts. Even though my partner and I have been together for a number of years....I MUST do it right. Because of this site, I hired an attorney to assist me. There is no way I could find my way thru the maze of Government rules. The home is mine and now has been for awhile. If he dies before the 5 year period, there will be a percentage that they can lien and I pray no more. Being a caregiver is not a money making venture unless you are a Nursing Home of Care Home business. THEY are in it for the money. We are in it for the Love and Care that we want to give our loved one. Maybe I am reading this wrong, but you cannot do a Reverse Mortgage on a home that is not your home. Maybe and this is a maybe, since you have lived in the home for 25 years, they would allow you to stay in the home for the rest of your lives. I just don't know. You are in a very tight place. Get those documents out of the drawers and I pray you work this out. I pray that you find a solution that is good for all three of you. It does not sound like putting the home in your name now would help. You could not get thru the next 5 years without help. I HOPE I understood this correctly and I am SO sorry for you.

Great advice, igloo572! If ever there were a true statement made, it is your last one. Being an only child, I was responsible for making those choices (for only half a month in acute care!), gathering the information, and putting it on the required forms. I was fortunate enough to take care of mom and eventually to find her a nice ALF near me, where she passed away about six years later. That is why your situation touches my heart, Sandy. It still brings tears to my eyes to think about the stress involved in the care of my mom; but, it was worth every moment. I can truly say I did my best. It sounds as if you are doing your best for your mom, but there are still a lot of decisions to be made and executed. I am thankful that Igloo was able to give you such clear and specific advice. Laws differ from state to state and are constantly changing by our legislators. Love and prayers to you and your family.

Sandy - if all assets are gone and you cannot provide for the level of care needed for your mom, then really the only option is to go ahead and move her to a NH that takes Medicaid and apply for Medicaid for her.

If her bank wants to get paid to do statements, that is what it is. Medicaid compliance is very exacting and if your state requires a full 5 years of bank statements, then you gotta submit them. Really start going through drawers and boxes or wherever else paper is and look for any & all financials for mom. medicaid is going to want insurance policies too. And if any of those appear to have a cash value, then they are going to need to be cashed in.

It sounds like you & hubs live in your mom's house which she fully owns, is that right? Medicaid rules require that your mom's home - which is an exempt asset during her lifetime - can have a lein or a claim placed on the property after mom dies. The is MERP - Medicaid Estate Recovery Program - and all states have to have MERP in place and done. The house exemption becomes non-exempt after death. Now there is a caregiver exemption to the claim or lien, but you will have to a file for it after mom dies and do whatever as per how MERP runs for your state laws for probate. Some states have specific documents that need to be provided in order for the caregiver exemption is done too…..like for TX MERP you have to provide a letter from their MD or a SW as to what caregiving was needed and what was provided and signed by the MD / SW with their state license #.

You've been a caregiver 14 years, so you are probably OK for qualifying for the exemption. I would speak with her MD to get that letter now it at all possible.

Now although it sounds dandy that you will get the home, you will need to have the income to pay for all on mom's home from now till whenever she dies and through the probate / MERP period. Mom once in a facility on Medicaid will be required to do a co-pay or her SOC (share of cost) to the NH. So if mom gets $ 800 in SS a month, then that $ 800 less a small personal needs allowance (this varies by state and runs from $ 35 - 105) must be paid to the NH. There will be none - nada - zero of mom's $ to pay a penny on the house. If you want to stay in the house, you have to have the income to pay on all and you kinda need to keep careful documentation on all the costs on the home from now till beyond death.

Please review all the costs, income, etc for both you & your mom to see just where you stand in affording all this. What can happen is that the caregiver just cannot afford to have the elder move into a NH; that they are interdependent on mom's SS & retirement income to make ends meet; to have food on the table and roof over their heads. If that is the case, then see what you can do to get mom qualified for hospice at home care - which is a MediCARE benefit. It can pay for and provide a lot of the equipment and incontitnent supplies and medications needed for mom as well as aides to come to the home maybe 2 - 4 times a week to lend a hand. Hospice since it;s Medicare is a self-directed program - so you can choose which vendor to go with. There are likely lots of hospice providers in your area. Ask your mom's MD office as to referrals - her MD will need to write the order for a hospice evaluation to be done too. Good luck, there are hard choices to be made but need to be done.

I remember you, Sandy. I also remember being concerned for you and your circumstances. I am sorry I don't have the answers to your questions. I just wanted to let you know I remember and that I care. Best of luck with all of the red tape. I went through a lot of his with my mother, and it was the most stressful time of my life.