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Oregongirl Asked June 2015

What happens when the caregiver gets ill, or has some serious issue?

They found something on my breast. Might be nothing but cysts. But, I am having a biopsy in two weeks and then it will be another week before pathology gives them the answer. I don't care if they never do anything or if nothing ever gets done. I am not worried about being overwhelmed, I just don't like anything to be wrong with me. I am 73 and extremely healthy. So, this is a bump in the road to me. A bump I am not ready for. I guess I would have to hire a caregiver to stay with my Partner while I have surgery (If it is even necessary). Because my Partner has Alzheimer, I am not certain if I should even tell him what is going on. What do you think? I know my kids will be more worried about me and not my partner....and I have to somehow let them know that I will heal faster and be happier if my partner is well cared for. But, what about telling my partner...I will wait until I have the results, but how do I say it and not upset him?

anonymous281963 Jun 2015
The caregiver gets highly motivated to get well, really really fast.

freqflyer Jun 2015
Oregongirl, I have been down that road, so I know what you are going through regarding yourself. Mine was cancer, really big bump in the road that took me totally by surprise.... and I never told my parents as Dad was recovering from a heart attack... I didn't want to worry them and here they were of sound mind but in their late 80's and early 90's.

When something like this happens it is very hard to know what to do. Take it one day at a time... hopefully you won't need to wonder how to tell him.

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GardenArtist Jun 2015
Do you (a) think your partner would understand what's happening, what the events will be and what if any are the consequences? and/or (b) would be so upset by the thought of your ill health that it would in fact upset him?

If the answer to (a) is no, don't tell him If (b) is a yes, also don't tell him.

Could your kids care for your partner while you have the surgery? I'm assuming the biopsy will be on an outpatient basis, so you wouldn't be away for several days unless there's follow-up surgery.

CarlaCB Jun 2015
I'm just writing to send you my best wishes, Oregongirl. I don't know much about Alzheimer's or how much your partner is capable of understanding and processing. I'm just sympathizing with your worry and uncertainty.

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