I know it's not healthy for me to sit so long, but I feel frozen in time. The feeding that took so long every day, is no more. I swab her mouth. I massage, sing to her, diaper and reposition her. But I do have the sense of a vigil. Waiting and being with her as she transitions into Spirit. Do you have any suggestions for other things I could do, either for her comfort or for me. Maybe something from another culture, a wise way of being in the presence of the death process.
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I am so sorry.
Found in the dead soldier’s shirt pocket, over his heart, a newspaper clipping which the young man had apparently always carried with him. His buddy opened it, read it and cried again. The clipping said so much about what his friend believed about death and life.
So he sent the clipping home to the dead soldier’s parents, that they might be comforted by what their son believed, that his faith might help strengthen their faith, the clipping read something like this.
"We are standing on a shore. A large sailing ship is about to pull out. Friends and relatives of ours are standing on the deck, waving goodbye, throwing streamers, calling to us, calling our names. And we call to them and to each other. ‘Look, there’s Grandma…there’s Uncle Joe…there’s Uncle Bill.’ A bell sounds. The ships begins to move away.
"We stand silently for a very long time and watch as the ship goes further and further away until, finally, the mast is just a vertical pencil line on the distant horizon. Then it too goes down, until we can no longer see it. And we sigh, ‘Oh, she’s gone.’
"But gone from where? Gone from our sight. That’s all.
"For at the very moment we sigh, ‘Oh, she’s gone,’ another cried on another shore is jumping up and down, laughing and yelling and pointing excitedly out to sea saying, ‘Look! She’s coming. Look, the ship Is coming home! Look! There’s Grandma…there’s Uncle Joe…there’s Uncle Bill.’"
The ship is coming home. There is another shore, another dimension in which we have already begun to live. We are filled with the Spirit of our Risen Savior—forever.
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Maggie's and Windy's suggestions are good and helpful.
As you become more sad, remember that you're helping to ease the transition process for her, and that could be the most important act you've ever done for her. You are partnered in spirit at this time of your lives.
I see that you use holistic methods; you might try some lavender or cinnamon in jars or bowls to scent the air and help relax you both. I carry a bottle of cinnamon in my bag for ER visits; it helps me.
You could also look at magazines that induce calm - magazines with photos of beautiful countrysides, gardens...soothing photos.
If she's conscious, I would try to bring in someone who practices Reiki therapy.
I too am sorry to learn that she's reached this state and sorry for the pain you feel. Peace to you both.
So wish we all could give you a hug...
My Mom..simply loved John Denver Songs...It made her smile even though she couldn't talk...and all the nurses and caregivers loved them too..good energy ;-)
She also loved A good cup of coffee when she could drink even though everyone said it wasn't good for her :-)). Love the suggestions for massage and reading and scents..My Mom loved them all..
Sounds like you are a precious daughter..she is so blessed to have you.
Smooth sailing for you all....Comfort and peace .
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